She rubbed her thumbs across his knuckles. Slowly, he pulled away, even as he’d rather take a dagger to his abdomen than to let her go. “This is the only way you get the career of your dreams. I know how important that is to you.”
“Jamie, please.” Her eyes were stretched and her voice wavered. “Being with you is my choice. You promised methat you wouldn’t make decisions on my behalf. We agreed?—”
“I know. But baby, don’t you see? This is my decision to make. I’m trying to help you, like you helped me.”
She shot up from the couch, tightly wrapping her arms around her ribs, as if that were all that kept her from collapsing. “But—I thought you cared about me?”
He rose to meet her frantic eyes. His sprouted fresh tears, but he didn’t wipe them away. It wouldn’t change how the glorious thing that had saved him had to end.
“More than you can ever know, Bee. I think I lov?—”
His voice was anemic, devoid of the confidence needed to say those three words. There was no doubt that he loved her, he finally knew, because he wouldn’t be willing to let her go otherwise. So that she had a chance to live the full life she deserved, outside fame’s punishing glare.
Jamie’s mother never got that chance. She wasn’t protected, and he still lived with that pain every day. Telling Brinton that he loved her would only muddy this disaster, which he dragged her into by asking for her help and selfishly falling for her.
“Are…you ashamed of me?” she asked, voice weakening by the second.
Jamie stumbled backward at the accusation. He didn’t trust himself to be the man she needed, in a world hell-bent on tearing them apart. She deserved a clean break, even as he ached to press her trembling body into his.
“Honey, please?—”
“Did you ever care about me?” she sputtered.
Ringing panic blared between his ears, making it difficult to fuckingthink. If he ignored his gut and they stayed together, it would only be a matter of time before the reality of being in a relationship with a musician set in: ruthless chatter and infinite late nights and unpredictable days.
Brinton, as strong as she was, would weather much of it alone, as his mom did, while he was God-knew-where making a name for himself. He couldn’t risk repeating his father’s mistakes.
But if Jamie let Brinton go—therightthing—he’d lose her forever too. There was no way to win.
“Were you using me?” she asked, breaths ragged.
He slumped back on the couch, hands cradling his forehead. It disgusted him, but the only way she’d choose herself was if she hated him. She’d never accept this if she didn’t. Regret clawed up his spine as he did what he had to.
“I only needed you to tell my story.”
More than his songwriting grift or that Heartbreak Prince ruse, this was his most unforgivable lie. “Michael should be outside to take you to the airport.”
She shut her eyes, like she could burst from her resistance. “How could you lie to me, for all these days?”
Next to him, Jamie retrieved a thick stack of papers. His songwriting contract. “Take this, for your article.”
She batted them away. “I don’t want these.”
“You have to, Brinton?—”
Jamie’s phone buzzed again, but he threw it across the room. It ricocheted off his mantle, sending his Grammy tumbling to the hardwood. Served it fucking right.
They both stared at the mangled statue, the gramophone cracked and severed from its base.
With a trembling hand, she snatched the packet from him.
Her chest was heaving by the time she raced upstairs to retrieve her things. He wanted to reach for her, but it was like sand slipping through an hourglass. Against what his heart demanded, he had to let her go. He stood idly on his porch, tears blurring his vision and stinging his throat, as she slammed Michael’s SUV door.
Jamie was halfway upstairs when the front door swung open. His body throbbed with agony. If it were Brinton, seeing her beautiful face, especially after what he’d done, would kill him.
“Jamie?” It was Sammi. She sounded distressed.
He took the steps two-at-a-time and met her at the door. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, her cheeks flushed. Her mascara was smudged.
