Chapter eight
RBI
Derby
I had two days off before I headed out for a double header in Pittsburg.It’d been a week since I’d seen Godwin.I drove up early and went to Momma’s house.I wanted her help sorting through the spaghetti thoughts roiling through my brain.Godwin had me second guessing myself, and I didn’t like that shit at all.
She greeted me with a big hug and ushered me into her tiny living room.I couldn’t wait for her to move into the new house.Four of these living rooms would fit in her new one.
“What’s that smile for?”she asked.
“I’m happy you won’t be here much longer.Do you want me to have someone help you pack and move?”
“You’re buying me all new furniture and fixins.I think I can handle what’s left.I’m not ancient.”She rolled her eyes, much the same way I tended to do.It was probably where I got it from.I sat on the old couch beside her and hugged her again.
She hugged back for a second, then shoved me away.“Okay.Enough of that.What’s going on with you?”My momma always knew when my head wasn’t screwed on straight.She could see my struggle easier than anyone.
“It’s Godwin.I don’t know what to do.He shared some seriously personal shit with me, then kind of kicked me to the curb.Or it felt that way.I know he’s having second thoughts about us, and I want him to go back to the first thoughts.”
Momma exhaled and made a raspberry noise, mocking me.“You can’t control other people.Only yourself.”
“That doesn’t help.”
She thunked me upside the head.
“Ow!Sorry, Momma.”
“You should be.”She settled back on the couch.“I don’t think you need my help with this.You know what to do.”
I stared at her blankly as if I had no idea what she was talking about, but mostly that was for effect.I had a good idea of what she was about to say.
“Tell him how you feel.That’s all youcando.The rest is up to him, and you have to live with that.”
Yep.Exactly what I thought she’d say.Maybe I needed to hear it, even though I already knew.I leaned toward her and put my head on her shoulder.She reached up and patted my head.“I know, Momma.But when I tell him, he might say he doesn’t want me.Doesn’t want a relationship.That’s gonna hurt.”
“You’re crying about it before it’s happened, Derby.”She pulled me close and hugged me.“Stop being so dramatic.”
I laughed, but being dramatic was in my blood.Not only because I took after her, but hell, she named me after a character fromSlaughterhouse-Five.She said she liked the name.It was actually the last name, Edgar Derby.That character died for something pretty stupid in the end.Maybe that was my ultimate reminder not to do anything stupid, but it hadn’t helped for most of my life.
Momma was right, though.So I got a quick bite to eat and cleaned up, then headed over to Godwin’s office.I parked and rushed inside before I got nervous and backed out of what I wanted to do.“I’m looking for Godwin.”
“Oh, sorry.He’s not here.”Nancy sat down behind her desk and tapped on her tablet.“Looks like he’s out at a job site.Not yours.Your house is done, right?”
I felt my shoulders sag.I had been all geared up, and he wasn’t even there.“Yep.Momma moves in next week.I wanted to catch up with Godwin to surprise him.”
Nancy smiled knowingly and looked back at her tablet.She tapped it a few times, then scrounged for a sheet of paper.“Here’s the address.I’m sure he’ll be there for a bit.”She handed over the scrap of paper, and I immediately plugged the address into my phone.
“Perfect.Thanks.”I shook the phone at her and ran out.
The app on the phone gave me directions, and in about ten minutes, I pulled up.A lot of guys in hardhats and orange vests were roaming around, looking official.I had on hiking boots and khaki shorts with a t-shirt.I didn’t care if I looked out of place.I jumped out of the rental car and hiked out toward the area where most of the men were gathered.
Godwin spotted me before I saw him.“Derby.Wow.What’re you doing here?”He seemed surprised, but was that a good surprise or a bad one?I couldn’t read him.
“Looking for you.”I didn’t know if he would want me to kiss him in front of these men or not.Part of me worried that someone would say something, but I needed him.It’d been too long since I’d been with him.Hell, one day was too long.So when he rushed over, I jumped at him, hugging him tight, then planted a smack on his lips.
I heard the men asking who I was, and one of them caught on.“Is that Derby Ward?The baseball player?”
“What player?”someone else asked.
