“What?I...”
She held up her hands.“I’m his momma.I can say that.”She laughed a little.“It’s true to an extent.But he has common sense and determination.It’s the determination part I want to talk to you about.”
“Oh?”I’d already seen some of that.
“See, once my boy sets his mind on something, he does it.He gets what he wants.If he’s set his mind on you?Well, you’d be better off just giving in now.”
I chuckled.It seemed she wanted us together, even if she wasn’tgetting involved.“Is that so?”
“That’s the way it is.”She held out her hand.“I think he’s set his mind on you, by the way he was moping around here the last time he was home.”
“I don’t know.I think I’ll end up hurting him.”I didn’t know why I revealed that.It must have been all the southern sweetness she was exuding.
“Well, I think that part is his decision to make.His risk.Youhave to decide if he’s worth taking the chance.It’s a gamble on both sides.Always is.Sometimes you get burned.Sometimes you burn someone else.Hurts either way, but the alternative is sitting alone every night.Or spending your free time mowing some old lady’s yard.”
I cracked up then.“Trust me, mowing your yard is not a hardship.”
“No.Not now.But what about a year from now?”
That last bit got me thinking.Would Derby and I still be in this limbo state a year from now?Would he have moved on?Would I?
Did I want to?
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do about it, but I was pretty sure I didn’t want Derby moving on without me.
Ms.Ward took my empty water bottle, and I took a step toward the yard, but then I stopped and turned toward her.“Would you tell him...tell him...?”
“I think you should tell him yourself.”
I didn’t contact Derby.After my little talk with his mom, I saw that I needed to fix myself before I could have anything with him or anyone else.I needed to get my shit together before he was gone for good.
I spent the next few weeks researching schools and possibilities.And thinking about Derby.I wanted him to be proud of me, but more importantly, I wanted to be proud of myself.Not for running a business or making stupid matchstick houses.That was all fine, but it was what I’d fallen into, not what I reached out to get.
I applied to a few schools.Most of them were online.But I would still need help with the business, and I thought I had that figured out, too.I jumped in my SUV and drove over to my brother’s house on a Friday afternoon.I knew he let the team cut out early on Fridays, so most likely, he’d be there.
I knocked on the door and opened it.“Beau?”
“In here,” he answered.
I circled around to his kitchen and dining room area.He had the sliders open and was sitting on the porch with his eldest son, who worked with him at the truss company.They were enjoying a cold beer, and the dog was running around the yard like he’d lost his mind.
“What’s up, guys?”
Beau pushed out one of the chairs with his foot.“Have a sit, man.”
I nodded and relaxed in the chair as best I could, but I had shit on my mind.“Need to talk to you about something.”
His son, Deacon, stood to leave, but I put my hand up to stop him.“This involves you, too.Might as well stay.”
“Alright.”He sat back down and glanced at his father.
My older brother tended to be stern.He took after our dad a lot.Everyone expected that he would take the company and run with it, but after a year at the helm, he turned it over to me and opened his own.He said it felt right, and I didn’t argue.Maybe I should have.Hindsight was often clearer than looking forward, though.
“What is it?”Beau asked, and I knew he would appreciate it if I got straight to the point.
“I want to step away from the business and work on something else.”
“On what?”he asked, while Deacon looked back and forth at us as if caught in the middle.
