And my gut told me this wasn’t the last time I would hear from Jax.
***
THE SMELL OFfresh coffee was the only thing keeping me tethered to reality the next morning as I leaned against the breakroom counter, waiting for the pot to finish brewing. The quiet hum of the office felt miles away compared to the storm inside my head.
I pressed my hand to the cool granite countertop, smoothing down the crease in my dress, but my mind was still tangled in last night’s nightmare. The rose, the note, the message that meanthewas now out there.
I hadn’t slept.
Every creak in the house last night had made my chest tighten. Every gust of wind against the windows had made me flinch. And even though I’d locked every door, closed every curtain, and slept with Kelsey in her bed, I still didn’t feel safe.
And even now, under the bright lights of the breakroom, I could still feel the weight of that rose. Ofhisnote.
My phone buzzed on the counter.
Unknown Number.
I froze and my stomach dropped because I knew with everything in me that it was Jax calling. I swiped to answer the call then exhaled a shaky breath as I leaned my back against the counter and waited to hear from my ex for the first time since he was arrested.
“I’m surprised you answered.” Jax’s raspy voice came through the other end of the line.
“You obviously couldn’t take the hint of me not wanting to talk to you.” I did nothing but ignore his calls since the moment he was locked up.
“Still got that fire in you I see,” He chuckled. “Did you enjoy the gift I left you last night?”
“I loved it so much that it’s sitting at the bottom of my trash can right now.”
“I’m hurt.”
“You have three minutes.” I told him as I stood up straighter. Any other position made me feel vulnerable and exposed.
“I miss you.” Jax told me, his voice dropping to a softer decimal. It was that tone and a few sweet words that would make me forgive him all those times I knew I shouldn’t.
“Two minutes and forty-five seconds.”
“You can act as tough all you want, but I know you miss me too.” Jax continued.
He couldn’t be more wrong.
There was no part of me that missed Jax. The moment they put those handcuffs on him he was as good as dead to me. He may have been my first everything, but he didn't love me. Maybe somewhere deep in his twisted mind he believed he did, but that wasn’t love and for a long time I let myself believe that it was.
I should’ve walked away the first time he hit me. Instead, I let a single apology, feather kisses, and honey-filled words rope me back in time after time.
But never again.
“You’re wrong.”
“I know you remember how good we were together,” Jax continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “Remember that night on Butterfly Beach?” he went on. “We were with our friends. You had on that sexy pink bikini and your hair was in braids. We lit a bonfire and I put my hoodie around you and held you for the rest of the night because you were cold.”
I did remember that night. I remembered the scratchy hoodie, the ocean breeze, the music and laughter. I also remembered how he pulled me away from everyone because he didn’t like the way one of his male friends was talking to me. I remembered the grip on my arm, the tight-lipped smile when we came back, the apology later that night that tasted like smoke and fear.
“You made me leave early,” I said flatly.
“What?”
“You told me if I didn’t stop laughing with your friend Landon, you’d make a scene. And then you gave me a busted lip when we got home, accusing me of trying to make a fool out of you in front of our friends.”
“Why are you being like this?” He dropped the remorseful ex-boyfriend act. “Is it because you have a new man? Is that it?”
