"Today that was raw dried meat and stale bread."
"It's sufficient."
"Sufficient." The stick is getting thin, so I find a new one to strip naked. "Sufficient is the saddest word in any language. Sufficient means 'I stopped expecting better and I'd like everyone to stop asking.'"
His shoulders drop by a fraction.
"You have opinions about everything."
"I do. It's a condition. Kestria says it's terminal."
"She would know."
"She would. She's been listening to me have opinions for years. About herbs, about chickens, about the structural integrity of my roof, about the correct way to smoke venison—Kestria knows more about venison preservation than anyone should and she's never once asked me to stop talking about it, which either means she's a very patient person or I've worn her down to the point where my voice is just background noise, which is—" I catch myself. The stick is bare. I'm holding a naked twig. "I'm doing it right now, aren't I."
"Yes."
"You could tell me to stop."
He shrugs and keeps eating.
He could have. He's the Alpha. People stop talking when he enters a space. I know this because I watched it happen.
And I'm sitting here babbling and he's letting me.
I snap the twig. "Nobody sits with you."
His hand goes still on the plate.
"Soren has you. Before every new moon. You sit with akid who's scared and you don't fix it, you just—stay. And that's—" My voice is climbing and I can hear it and I can't stop it. "But who does that for you? Who sits with the person who sits with everyone?"
Don't look at me.
Don't look at me with that—
He's looking at me.
I look at the trees. Very interesting trees. Many branches. Some of them have leaves.
"The pack doesn't work that way,” he says, so quiet I almost don’t hear him.
"Maybe it should."
"The Alpha is—"
"Alone. Yeah, yeah. I noticed. You live at the edge of your own territory, Keer. You eat standing up. Everyone watches you and nobody—" I wave the broken twig at nothing."Nobody brings you dinner."
"You did."
Heat crawls up my neck. "That was practical."
"Was it."
"Yes. You need to eat. Eating is a biological requirement. I was being—medically responsible."
"You seasoned it with sage."
"I season everything with sage. That's not special. That's default herb protocol."
