“I’m sure this all sounds so stupid. What, I didn’t like myself so that’s why I broke your heart? You didn’t deserve that.”
“It doesn’t sound stupid, Rowan. You’re right, I didn’t deserve that. But you also didn’t deserve to be made to feel the way you did. I was too caught up in myself to notice how badlyyou were hurting.”
“I was not okay, Juniper. I was in a really bad place.”
“I knew the pressure to conform to cultural expectations weighed on you, but I didn’t realize they were crushing you. I’m so sorry I didn’t figure that out, and I wasn’t there for you.”
“I didn’t let you in enough to even know, Juniper.”
“Then maybe we tell our story this way. We were just young kids who had had difficult lives, who found each other when they needed someone the most, who fell in love. And who each needed to do what they did to survive. And now, I hope, we understand the inevitableness of being together. That our lives finally converged at the right point, under the right conditions, with nothing but open space in front of us.”
“That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t deserve you, Juniper.”
“Yes, you do.” Juniper laid her head against Rowan’s shoulder. “I’ve always been in love with you. Even when I hated you.”
“I know. I hated myself for it too. So much I lost myself in it for a long time. But I promise you, I am not going anywhere. I will spend every day showing you how deeply you’re loved. All of the ways you deserve to be loved.” She slid a hand against her cheek and raised her face up. “If you’ll let me.”
Juniper pressed a kiss into her lips. “I want to be yours. I’ve always wanted to be yours.”
Rowan stroked a thumb down her cheek. “You are. And I’m yours. There’s no world, no moment in time that exists without you in it. Nothing will change that for me, ever.”
Rowan drew her in and held her until the inevitableness Juniper felt about them seeped into every pore of her body. She kissed the lines of salt that had dried on her cheeks. Then she froze. She pulled back slowly and drew her finger against her mouth to motion a shh. She then used that finger to point across Juniper’s shoulder. Juniper turned slowly just as she saw a white piebald deer lift its head from where it had been grazing. It stared at them both for a few moments before itjerked its head to the side and darted off into the cover of the tree line behind Juniper’s house.
“Do you remember what the white deer signifies?” Juniper asked quietly.
“Remind me,” Rowan prompted.
“A time of important transition or change. The deer was a guide for those who encountered it to remind them of their need to honor and connect with the natural world and to themselves.”
Rowan drew her in even closer. Who was she to discredit asign like that?
The convergence of waters is a sacred event. When different bodies of water meet, they create a powerful energy that can bring balance and harmony to the surrounding environment. This sacredness of waters converging together is often associated with unity, purification, and renewal.
Chapter 26
The season faded into late summer before the farmer’s market pavilion was fully constructed. On the Saturday morning of its grand unveiling, Rowan woke Juniper with a mug of coffee. Even in the late summer heat and humidity, she still took her cup steaming hot with a splash of oat milk. She sat up in bed and pulled the sheet over her bare chest to tuck under her arms before taking the mug in both hands. Rowan sunk back into bed and leaned against the headboard next to her to enjoy her own mug.
“Oh, I almost forgot!” Juniper exclaimed.
Rowan tilted her head toward her and raised an eyebrow.
“Do you remember how I stole that white button down shirt from the back of your old truck?”
“Like months ago, and you never gave it back?”
“Yes,thatone, among many other things. I know. I can finally give it back to you now.”
“Have you been wearing it? I haven’t noticed.”
That was cute. Juniper shot her a near laughing smile.
“I definitely can’t fit into your work clothes.”
Rowan looked at her quizzically. Juniper gripped the front of her t-shirt to pull her in for a kiss.
“I don’t think it would close past my nipples.”
Rowan groaned. “Show me.”
