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“Loaf,” said Umbo. “We can always prevent ourselves from doing it, if it fails. Just as we did with Leaky.”
“Even with a facemask, it hardly solves our problem,” said Loaf. “He’s a baby, he needs care.”
“The mantles take care of everything for the Larfold babies,” said Umbo. “I’m betting that if there was no milk to be had, the facemask could wean him. And if not, it would allow him to suckle from a goat or a sheep or a cow.”
“Or mice?” asked Loaf.
“I have to take an answer to Auntie Wind,” said Umbo. “I made a suggestion, something we could try. And there’s this: If it works, then you’ll have one son with a facemask like yours, and one without.”
“And wouldn’t Leaky wreak havoc about that,” said Loaf. “Always accusing me of having a favorite and it wouldn’t be her favorite.”
“Accuse her first of favoring Round,” said Umbo. “It’ll have the virtue of being the simple truth, long before a facemask was involved.”
“Don’t you know that my being right only makes Leaky more stubborn?”
“For a while,” said Umbo. “But she’s smart and she’s fair, and when the anger calms, the argument will hold. She chose a favorite first.”
“Worth a try,” said Loaf. “Let’s go get the baby, and then see what Vadesh says.”
“I can bring the baby,” said Umbo.
“The Larfolders don’t know about diapers,” said Loaf. “He shits everywhere.”
“I’ve been turded by yahoos,” said Umbo. “I can take it.”
“No, I’ll bring him,” said Loaf. “I’m his father.”
“You’ve already put in a full day,” said Umbo.
“I’ll sleep in the flyer,” said Loaf. “I’m certainly not walking to Larfold.”
“Can we eat first?” asked Umbo.
“Good idea,” said Loaf, “as long as you don’t even hint to Leaky about what we’re doing. Let’s face her rage as sinners, rather than as mere contemplators of a sin.”
Umbo smiled his understanding.
But he did not understand. His wife was Queen-in-the-Tent, and she caused him far, far less worry, far less conflict than Leaky caused Loaf.
Then again, thought Umbo, that’s probably because she doesn’t actually care what I do. She married me only to keep my timeshaping abilities in the royal family. Whereas Leaky is really devoted to Loaf, which is why his actions can make her go crazy.
Don’t think like that, Umbo told himself. Maybe Param loves you as much as she’s capable of love. She’s certainly kinder to you than she could ever have learned from her mother, the Monster Queen Hagia. As royal marriages go, ours is already above average: I haven’t been murdered, I haven’t had to flee her presence, and if we haven’t actually done anything together that might conceive a child, that’s only because her being pregnant would be inconvenient and, potentially, dangerous, since we don’t know what time-slicing might do to a fetus in the womb.
They ate. Leaky and Loaf were perfectly at ease with each other. Umbo was relieved yet also vaguely disappointed at how easy it was for Loaf to hide his intentions from her.
But he didn’t discuss this with Loaf. He knew the topic would probably be off-limits forever. And it was just as well that husbands and wives could keep secrets from each other, when the thing being concealed was necessary and right, and nothing would be gained from quarreling about it. A soldier always has things he needs to conceal from his family. It’s a good thing that he can, without diminishing the love between them.
When they reached the shore, it was only ten minutes or so after Umbo had left—but Auntie Wind already had baby Square there with her. And no nursing mother. She knew that the baby would be taken away, not because she had any foreknowledge or any timeshaping ability, but because she knew that there was no solution to the problem that would involve leaving Square in Larfold for even one more day.
“Better than your word,” said Auntie Wind to Umbo as he and Loaf approached.
“And you have been better than yours,” said Loaf. “I never meant to leave the boy with you this long.”
“You’re preparing for war,” said Auntie Wind. “And you’re a man. Now you’ve come to take responsibility, and so there are no hard feelings. We’ll remember this boy fondly. He’s funny and smart and clever and good, insofar as toddlers can be.”
“We’re going to try a facemask on him,” said Umbo.
“I think that’s wise,” said Auntie Wind.
