Niko backed up some so he could get a better look at the second story, and possibly the roof. “Remember when we’d climb out of my window and sit on the roof right there, over the porch, looking at the stars and dreaming of the adventures we’d have when we grew up and ran away from this place?”
“Only too well. Those were some of the best times of my life. And your tree house, and the fried bologna sandwiches Mimi would bring out to us with a big plastic jug of grape Koolade.”
“Yeah,” Niko said with a wide grin. “Or if we were really lucky it was black cherry flavor.”
“Oh, man! Yes! And the ice cream sandwiches she’d make us with homemade chocolate chip cookies and vanilla ice cream. We had it good and didn’t even realize it,” Rance said.
“I did. I knew what we had,” Niko said quietly. “I’d give anything for just one more day.”
“I’m sure you would. Your Mimi was the best.”
Niko nodded.
“She wanted you to be happy, Niko. She wouldn’t want to see you walking around alone, pretending that nothing ever meant anything to you, that you never wanted more for yourself.”
“You know why I don’t,” Niko said, but his voice was quiet, instead of the brash declaration one would expect of him.
Rance nodded. “Maybe it’s time to let go of the what if it’s is-s, and embrace the what if it’s nots.”
Niko laughed a bit. “Is-s? How do you spell that?”
“Hell if I know. It’s the opposite of nots.”
Niko lifted both hands and rubbed at his eyes as he sighed. “What happens if she turns out exactly like my mother? And that makes me turn out exactly like my father?”
“First, we all know you’re a mean drunk, but not unreasonably so. You only direct it at somebody if they fuck with you first. Until then, you’re happy as hell.”
“True,” Niko said.
“And she’s nothing like your mother.”
“How can you be so sure?” Niko asked quietly.
“Niko, man, open your eyes. She’s a single mother. She’s raising her boy alone, and from being around the kid and seeing the little bit I have, she’s doing a hell of a job. She hasn’t dumped him, hasn’t run out on him, she thrives on him. She’s overprotective, and loving, and nurturing. Exactly whatany male would want as a mother for his children, and in a mate for himself. And despite the fact that you ran from her literally screaming when you realized she’s your mate, she hasn’t punched you yet. I’d say it paints an encouraging possibility. And can I mention the way her boy took one look at you and said, ‘Yep, that’s the one I want. Will you protect my mom and me?’?”
Niko grinned. “Yeah, he likes me. Knows I’m cool and shit.”
Rance laughed as he took a few steps to stand beside Niko. “It’s got good bones.”
“The house or the thing with Maeve?”
“Both. The thing with Maeve, you just need to drop that fucking wall you put up to all females, and let her see you. You’re a good male. Terrified by the shit that life handed a little boy that was caught between a worthless mother and a fuckhead of a father.”
“I’m afraid.”
“I would be, too. Hell, I am! My mate’s lying up in the spare bedroom of Jack’s house and I haven’t even been up to see her since we got back this morning.”
“Why not?!” Niko asked, shooting what-the-fuck looks Rance’s way.
“She’s mourning another male. The last thing she needs is me all up in her face trying to step into his place.”
“You’re not stepping into his place. You’re stepping into your place. And she’ll feel the difference.”
“How do you know that? You never even get the names of the females you sleep with.”
Niko looked over at Rance again and smiled sadly. “I know the name of each and every one. I just pretend that I don’t know. They deserve as much respect as any one else, and making sure that we’re all on the same page is part of that. I don’t want to hurt anybody or make them feel less than. I just don’t want tofeel anything, so the women I choose have to not want to feel anything either.”
“Damn, Niko.”
