He follows me over the edge and I feel him pulse inside me in long, hot surges. His arms crush me against his chest and a groan rumbles out of him that vibrates through my ribcage. His hips jerk through every wave, pushing deeper, and my name spills out of his mouth over and over against my hair until the last pulse fades and his body goes slack under mine.
I stay straddling him for a few minutes until I feel him going soft. Then, ignoring the mess, I slide off his lap and lie down, pulling him down beside me. Kazimir curls his body around mine as our legs tangle, and he brushes the hair off my sweat-slicked temples and curls it around my ear. I feel too many emotions all at once to let them fully manifest.
I want to tell him everything so the burden of guilt is off my chest, but in doing that I know it will hurt him. That's the last thing I want. I could take the coward's way out and vanish, letting my brothers do what they will. It'd destroy Kazimir but I wouldn't have to watch that.
But the problem is I love him so much, and I love the way he makes me feel too. It's like a drug I can't walk away from. I try so hard. I even get to the point of demanding my freedom and then I walk right back to his arms the instant he reaches for me. It's a twin-flame connection that can't be denied, and I'm gonna have to watch everything around me burn while I'm dying inside,especially if Bogdan gets his way and they use this baby against me.
"Look, the invitational is this weekend, and I really want you to be there." Kaz presses a soft kiss to my forehead and then tips my chin up gently with two fingers to kiss my lips too.
It takes all of my emotional control not to break down crying. He's going to be a father. He needs to know. I need to tell him, and I can't. If I do, my brothers will hate me. Bogdan's threat about marrying me off to some farmer out east probably isn't true, but they definitely won't let me run my own club if I purposefully defy them.
"Won't your family hate me? They'll chase me off…" I dip my head, tucking into his chest and kissing him there, soft pecks to distract him from the fact that I've pulled away.
"I don't really care. This is my big day, Z." I like that he's picked a nickname for me, but the bittersweet reality is I can't stay with him. As bad as I want to, this has to end.
"I know, I just don't want you to burn bridges?—"
"Hey," he says, grabbing my jaw and forcing me to look at him. "You are the only thing I need, okay? If they shun me, so be it. I want you there Saturday night."
He's so determined, I can’t possibly reject him. "Alright," I almost whisper. "You'll pick me up?"
"Nah, babe. I'll be too busy." His thumb strums my cheek. "You'll have to meet me. Let's say seven o'clock… It's an old office building we remodeled inside. On Kominsky Prospect… There's a big red sign you can't miss, a block off Chernov."
I know the place. Bogdan told me he wondered who bought it, and now we know. Kuzins bought the thing to turn it into a fight ring location. Very tricky, probably something I'd do if I were running my own ring. It looks like a normal office building.
"Yeah, okay…" I say, and I hear my phone buzz.
"I, uh… I gotta piss," Kazimir says, peeling himself away from me. He takes his jeans, along with his phone, and walks down the hallway.
"Second door on the left!" I shout as I turn over. The instant he's inside the bathroom with the door shut, I pick up my jeans and dig my phone out. I'm not sure what to expect now that Kazimir's phone has stopped sending me updates. I think he got wise to the clone and got a new phone, but I can't prove it.
Bogdan threw a fit, but right now, he's sent me a message and I’m not sure what it means.
Bogdan: 8:17PM: Thanks, Zora. We have what we need.
I stare at the message wondering what the fuck he means. I never sent him an update. As far as I know, he doesn't even know Kazimir and I are together. I never told them I was going out and I sure as fuck didn't tell them that he was coming over. I glower at my phone feeling confused, until the bathroom door swings open and Kaz comes back wearing his jeans, phone in hand.
"You okay?" he asks, lifting my legs so he can slide under them.
I lock my phone and lay it on the table face down in case I get another message and try to relax. "Yeah, fine. Just my brother annoying me."
"Aw I’m sorry, baby. Let me order some food and we'll get your mind off that." He squeezes my calf and rubs it gently, and I feel like crying.
Oh, my God, he is so perfect.
If it were any other time, any other circumstance for us being together, I would marry this man. I want to… God, does my heart want so badly to dive into the depths of the way he feels for me and swim around in it.
"Food sounds good…" I'm in another world and he's buried in his phone, but soon, he'll be in a state of shock.
And I hope by then, I'm hiding somewhere I can break down and feel all this emotion.
It's starting to get too heavy.
21
KAZIMIR
The crowd's already three deep at the barriers when I pull out my phone and call Zora for the second time. It's just been ringing through to voicemail, so I try again but I get the same result, then shove the phone back in my pocket. She's supposed to be here by now. I told her seven and it's already half past. I was hoping for some time together before the fights start because once that happens, I have to focus on my job.
