That’s my life now.
I can’t skate, so I cry some more.
These past few weeks I’ve been a hot mess.
Minus the hot part.
I cry myself to sleep every night.
And I shouldn’t.
I’m the one who told him to leave.
So really, I have no right to feel sorry for myself.
But it still hurts, more than I expected.
He walked out that day in January and never came back.
It’s March now.
A part of me had expected something else.
To tell me I was wrong. That he could in fact love me.
Or at least that he’d try.
Instead, he left.
I don’t have him as my professor anymore. That class was only for the first semester, and I don’t think he teaches at the academy at all these days.
He still comes here sometimes. After all, he’s involved with the Ferrum Syndicate, which means he has reasons to be on Elaris Isle from time to time.
But I never see him.
And yet he’s still here, in a way.
A book arrives for me every single day, always with a note from him, and with a hyacinth.
One day it was an out of print special edition of one of my favourite series. Another time it was a first edition I’d mentioned wanting months ago.
At this point, my living room is a library. And that’s without counting the stacks taking over my bedroom.
He hasn’t given up on us. And that’s the problem.
Because he still can’t give me the one thing I want.
So why keep doing this to both of us?
When my period arrives, a basket appears on the very same day.
Every single month.
I don’t even question how he knows anymore. Sometimes it feels as if he has access to my phone.
The moment I log the first day on my app, a basket turns up at my door filled with my favourite chocolate, ice cream, face masks, fluffy socks, snacks, drinks, heating pads, and usually some plush toy.
He also sends jewellery from Vass Legacy.
