I let her words settle in my ears, I know she's right, I know I can’t save him, but I still want to.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I whisper. “How to live when living feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“One day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time. And Maya?” She waits until I meet her eyes. “It’s okay that it’s hard. It’s okay that some days you don’t want to. What matters is that you keep choosing to try.”
After therapy, I text Ryder.
Maya
How’s the shoulder?
Ryder
Hurts. How was therapy?
Maya.
Hard.
Ryder
Want company?
Maya
You’re supposed to be resting.
Ryder
I’m going stir crazy. Carter and Lennox are disgustingly in love and I’m third-wheeling in my own convalescence.
Maya
Fine. Meet me at the quad in 20?
Ryder
Deal.
He’s already there when I arrive, sitting on a bench with his arm still in the sling, looking lost in thought. The bruise on his forehead has turned spectacular shades of purple and yellow.
“You look like you lost a fight,” I say, sitting beside him.
“I did. The ice won.” I start laughing at his reply, because he meant it.
“The ice always wins.”
“You sound like you know.”
I shrug. “I spent a lot of time on ice. Before.”
“Figure skating?”
“Yeah. Long time ago.”
“What made you quit?”
I could lie. Could deflect. Could change the subject.
