Och, but somewhere in the deepest chasm of her heart, hatred afflicted her, not just for the Camerons, but for herself, as well.
And now, worst of all, she felt herself reaching for this motherly woman, while the memory of her own mother threatened to fade.
“Ye need not worry, my lady,” she promised in a shaky voice, “If yer son will not allow me to leave, I will run away. I know I am not good enough fer him. I willna cling to him but break away fer my family’s sake.”
She rose from her seat to leave. What was there left to talk about?
“Miss Woodburn, have ye ever run away from a place before?”
Elspeth turned to her. Was Logan’s mother mocking her?
“I have,” Ismay Cameron told her. “I escaped my stepmother and my betrothed and ran on foot fer far longer than I planned. Running was treacherous and exhausting. My hair had been cut off by a man. ’Twas not as short as yers—” Her eyes crinkled with light humor at what the both of them had in common. “But I used it to disguise myself as a lad, and even still, every man I came across wished to harm me. All but one.”
Elspeth swiped her cheeks to clear them of tears. What was his mother telling her? “Why are ye telling me this?”
“Sit down, child.”
Elspeth obeyed. When she did, Ismay MacPherson began.
“I am telling ye because ye seem to be under the impression that ye are not good enough fer my son. I dinna care fer that kind of dishonorable opinion of yerself. Ye were someone’s daughter, good enough fer their love. What has changed since then? Have ye killed anyone? Done anything that would make ye unworthy? Nae? Then rid yerself of that untruth.
“As fer doing things fer the sake of yer family, I understand the desire to avenge them. But ’twill cost ye yer life, here and in the hereafter.”
Elspeth wiped her eyes heedlessly and began to hiccup. Logan spoke like his mother; his voice laced with kindness.
“Live yer life well, child. Make yer family proud if they were here with ye. But because they are not, live with the memory of the love they had fer ye, and stop tainting it with hatred.”
Elspeth sat still in her chair. At this point, she stopped wiping her tears and let them flow. Ismay’s words smashed the last of her guard against the Camerons to pieces. Could she do it? Could she stop being angry and vengeful and let her family’s love for her lead her?
“I will try, my lady.” Elspeth sniffed, then rose when Ismay did.
“One other thing,” Logan’s mother stopped on her way to the front door and turned to her. “Ye said I need not worry about ye staying here with my son.” She smiled and lifted her fingers to Elspeth’s short hair. “I would have ye know, I am not worried.”
Chapter Seventeen
Logan stepped outsidethe next morning and stretched, lifting both arms and grimacing while he reached for the sun. He felt a hand on his back and turned to see his mother. When his cousins left last night, taking Helen to receive her punishment, his mother stayed behind with Ealar.
“Why are ye out of bed, Logan?” she scolded. “Ye need to rest. Yer body is recovering.”
“I feel amazingly well, Mother.” He looked over her shoulder. “Where is Elspeth?”
“I have been preparing the morning meal. I havena seen her.”
Odd. Logan stepped farther outside and scanned the vale. She definitely would have tried to help his mother cook. He did not see her hanging wet clothes on the line, nor was she washing anything by the stream. He felt a thread of fear course through him and broke away from his mother to check the house. He hurried to her room. It was empty. When he didn’t find Elspeth in his house, he checked his parents’ house. She wasn’t there either.
“She likely went fer a walk on the mountain.”
“Where is Ealar?” Logan asked her, hoping his brother was not in the house but with Elspeth if she’d gone walking.
“I just came from waking him. Why do ye appear so shaken, Son?” she asked when he paled and turned to look toward the mountain. “Do ye think she would run away from ye?”
Would she? he asked himself. She liked him and she hated herself for it. Where would she go? “Mother, I’m goin’ to look fer her.”
Before she could stop him, Logan hurried for his horse and took off for the mountain. While he rode toward it, he searched the glen for any sign of her, calling out her name, praying she answered.
Only his voice echoed back.
Each second of not finding her grew more torturous. She was alone. There might be too much hatred in her heart for him to ever truly love him, but she would not go off alone if there was any way to avoid it.
