“Hello my birthday boy,” I coo at him as I pick him up. “Daddy and Vee should be back soon with pizza,” I continue talking with him as I quickly change him and we make our way back into the living room. I set him up in the play area with a couple of the new toys.
Shiloh is on the last couple of pages of the instruction book, and with Hayes now preoccupied I take the moment to get some glasses and plates from the kitchen and bring them to the table. Just as I’m bringing a jug of water to the table the front door opens.
The room is slowly filled with the smell of melted cheese, and laughter. Shiloh is on his third slice of pizza, sauce all over his cheeks. Monty and Xavier are talking about renovations of some sort. Xavier wants to fix up the deck as a couple of the planks have started to show signs of rot, or something along those lines. I tune out and direct my conversation to the girls. Reaching over I grab another slice of pizza for myself.
“Anyone else want more?” I ask the group, which the guys eagerly grab another slice.
“Oh I don’t think I could eat another bite.” Harper says. It’s then I notice that Evie’s plate is barely touched, I’ve noticed that she hasn’t been eating much, she says she’s due for her period and she often has an upset stomach.
I try not to think too much into it, but I can’t help but to notice these things. It’s in my nature to care for my loved ones. Evie is a part of our unit now, so I put the same attention to detail as I do with the rest of the people in this house. My heart swells with happiness as I watch our group, and I think about how it might look like this time next year.
Whatever that looks like, I hope that it’s still the three of us creating memories, and building our future.
ChapterThirty Nine
Evie
Six Weeks Late…
Twolines.
There they are. Clear as fucking day. Two. Fucking. Pink. Lines.
And if I didn’t believe that one, I could look at the three other tests that sit on the counter telling me the exact same thing. Two lines. Pregnant.I’m pregnant.
Running my hand through my hair, I sit down on the side of the tub before putting my head between my knees. Panic begins to set in as it coils in my chest like a vice, gripping on my heart and making it difficult to breathe. Taking the next few moments to pull air into my lungs, in an attempt to slow my heart rate down.
I should’ve known better. We should have been more careful when we were all together.
Being with Monty and Josie has been something I never could’ve fathomed. They set this ease inside me that made me foolishly believe that maybe this could be something more.
But how can it be more?
They’re married and have two of their own kids together. They have their whole life sorted out, and now here I am fucking everything up by getting pregnant.
“Fuck, I’m so stupid.” The telling burn of tears hits the back of my eyes, but before I can banish them away they’re flowing down my cheeks.
My meltdown is interrupted by a soft knock on the door.
“Evie? I need help.” Shiloh’s soft voice echoes through the barrier between us. Sniffling, I quickly get up, turning on the tap water.
“One second buddy, I’ll be right there!” Wiping my face, I try my best to remove any trace of me crying off my face. I pocket the positive tests and the garbage in my baggy sweater, I’ll throw them out once I get Shiloh settled with his next task.
The rest of the day goes off without a hitch. Josie had back to back appointments, so it was me and the little guys this afternoon. Hayes has been on the go since he started walking. Monty spent all last weekend setting up the baby gates that make a huge playpen in the living room. So that area has been such a reprieve for me, but also gives him opportunities to explore.
My mind keeps flashing back to the positive pregnancy test, and how much I fuck things up. I put a face on for the kids, but the minute Monty came home I excuse myself saying I was getting a migraine and need to lie down.
He gave me some pain meds and told me to spend the weekend and relax and that he’ll come check on me in the morning. Monty kissed me quickly before heading toward the kitchen to start supper.
But I didn't go and lie down.
Stuffing my toiletries into my suitcase, I shut the lid reaching around to zip it up before putting it by the bedroom door. Grabbing my phone, I order a ride share for ten thirty.
Two hours.
I just need to hide away for two more hours and I can leave. Feeling nauseous I head over to the package of saltine crackers I grabbed before heading to the loft.
I get comfortable on the love seat, throwing on Grey's Anatomy to try and pass the time.
