I get to the door and I turn around, a soft smile appears on my face, “Thank you babes. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
She shrugs her shoulders, “crash and burn.”
I toss another handful of cracked corn onto the ground and watch as the ducks flutter around the area eating up the treat. I’ve been sitting out here for the last twenty minutes because I couldn’t sit around waiting for Monty and Josie to get here.
I finally turned my phone back on and got a flood of messages from them. Not in the stalkery way, but daily reminders in our group chat that they were thinking about me and hoping I was doing okay. There was nothing pushy or demanding in the messages, they genuinely wanted to be sure I was okay.
When I finished reading all the messages I cried, and wanted to crawl back into bed. They have no idea of the shit storm they’re walking into, and I doubt they’ll be thinking the same way once I tell them that I’m pregnant.
Xavier finds me pacing in the living room and tells me to follow him. Putting on my boots and coat I trail behind as he leads to the big building a bit farther back in the property.
That’s how I find myself out here in the duck enclosure. Harps is still terrified of these guys since the first time she came out to the farm with Xavier over a year ago, but I find them endearing. Granted, very smelly being stuck in this heated enclosure for the winter. Wiping off the dust from my hands on my jacket, I head out of the coop. Making sure the door shuts and locks behind me before heading back to the house.
As I get closer to the house, I notice Monty’s black truck parked in the driveway and my heart rate begins to pick up speed.They’re here. I haven’t seen them in three days, and suddenly I have the biggest urge to order an uber and leave.
I won’t be okay if I tell them what I need to and I’m met with disgust and regret. My heart will shatter and I don’t think it’ll ever heal. A tightness in my chest begins to grow stronger with each step I make toward the house. In my head there’s a voice whispering in my ear that there’s no point in trying to talk to them. They’re going to reject me and tell me I’m not worth it. They’ll tell me how it was always a mistake to have crossed the line with me.
My hand shakes as I reach and wrap my fingers around the door knob. I take one final breath before I push myself through the door.
I hear soft murmurs coming from the living room, I’m not ready for them to know I’m here yet. Quietly, I close the door and rest my forehead on the wood. Giving myself some semblance of alone time to muster up the courage for this conversation.
Slowly, step by step I bring myself closer to the living room. My chest flutters with the thought of seeing them. My brain quickly scolds my emotions, whispering words of self doubt. Exchanging the flutters for tightness as my anxiety takes over.
Turning the corner, everyone comes into view. Harper sits next to Xavier, his arm thrown over her shoulders. The soft smile on her face when she sees me, helps calm some of my nerves.
When my eyes move over, the breath escapes my lungs as I'm met with chocolate and green eyes. My heart squeezes as I look at just how tired they both appear.
I wave my hand low in greeting, “Hi.”
“Hey Sweets.” Josie speaks first, standing up before thinking about it and sitting down again.
Monty stays silent, but his eyes never leave mine. I can't exactly decipher the emotion that’s storming in his eyes, but I can't bring myself to look away.
“We're going to run out for a bit. I got a call about a couple of baby goats whose mom rejected them.” Xavier states, standing up offering out his hand to Harper. She quickly takes it and follows.
“Stay as long as you'd like. We're gonna bring home pizza on the way back.” Harper lightly squeezes my bicep as she walks by. “If you need anything you call me okay? If you want to stay longer, I support that.”
I quickly nod to let her know that I heard her. A minute later we hear the front door close. In the next second Monty is up and stalking toward me. I can't help but step back in a rush and he catches the movement. Stopping in his tracks, brows furrowing, “Evie.” The sound of my name is all it takes to break the dams.
“I'm sorry.” I sob, hands covering my face. Before I know what’s happening, I’m being lifted off the ground and placed on the couch. Arms are wrapped around me and holding me tight. Moments later small hands glide over my own and pull them away from my face. Slowly my eyes open and see Josie in front of me. The look of worry is written all over her face.
“Why are you sorry?” She asks softly.
“F-for leaving and not telling you guys what’s going on.” I reply with a hiccup at the end of my sentence. The guilt I felt when I left and every day after hangs over me, but my fear controlled the actions I made that night and the days after. “It wasn’t fair to you two, or the boys.”
Her thumb glides across my cheek catching the running tears. “You had your reasons.” She states, resting her hands on my knees in front of her.
“Yes, but you told me how important communication was in this relationship. When I found out…Well I left, and I didn’t even try to talk to you guys. I just packed my bag and ran away, like I always do.” I watch as Josie looks to Monty then back to me, there’s a pregnant pause as they wait for me to continue. I don’t know where to even begin.
“When you found what out, little minx?” Monty asks me gently from behind me.
They give me space to get my thoughts together. The only thing there is to do though is to rip the band aid off.
“When I found out I’m pregnant.” I give them the space to take in this information. I look between the two of them and both their faces sharesimilar versions of shock, Josie’s mouth opens and closes a few times before she finally says something.
“You’re pregnant?” She asks, and I just nod. Emotions begin to clog my throat, I try to say something but instead I intake a sharp breath.
I feel Monty’s hand move from where it was and lay it over my stomach. Fresh tears begin to run down my face as I feel his breath by my ear.
