“I apologize.” I tip my head slightly.
“Now, without acting like a bunch of hooligans who weren’t raised properly, would someone please explain to me what is going on here?”
“London’s back in town. Patty at the agency hired her to be Penn’s temporary bookkeeper while Janet is on maternity leave. Seems she has a real ripe sense of humor, that one. Alec has been playing nice, maybe a little too nice for Penn’s liking. While this one”—Walker looks directly at me—“seems determined to smear her off the bottom of his shoe like dog shi—poop”—he quickly corrects to avoid any more of our mother’s wrath—“that he accidently stepped in. Does that about cover it?” He looks at Alec for confirmation.
“I’m not beingtoonice. I’m just not torturing her for the sake of making myself feel better,” Alec retorts.
“I’m not doing it to make myself feel better. Nothing but her leaving again could do that. I’m just trying to get through each day without losing my damn mind,” I say as calmly as I can muster. “If you were any kind of brother, you would be trying to make things easier on me, not harder.”
“If you were any kind of man, you’d take the high road and stop torturing the poor girl.”
“I am not torturing her.”
“Really? Should we consult Cat about this?”
“What does Cat have to do with anything?” I fire back. “I don’t know what London told you...”
“It wasn’t London who told me anything. It was Cat who was retelling the whole thing in joyous celebration to a group of vipers at the bar last night.”
Well, that explains a lot.
“Retelling what?” My mom doesn’t try to hide her confusion.
“Nothing,” me and Alec say in unison.
We may not be exactly thrilled with each other at the current moment, but not even then would Alec out my extracurricular activities to our mother. That’s brother code and none of us would ever break it.
“Honey, I know how badly London leaving devastated you, but if I find out that you’re hurting that poor girl on purpose to punish her, I will have something to say about it. You were raised better than that.”
“I’m not hurting her on purpose. If she’s hurt, that’s on her. All I’m doing is trying to endure. Trust me, I could be a lot worse to her if I wanted to be.”
“Your father and I always taught you to treat everyone with kindness and respect, even people who don’t give you the same courtesy.”
“I know, Mom. Trust me, I’m trying my best.”
“If this is your best, I hate to see your worst,” Alec grumbles to Walker, who snickers like he’s really enjoying watching me flounder.
“Are you about done?” I pin Alec with a glare.
“Are you? I’m not trying to be an ass, brother. I’m trying to make you see the error of your ways.”
“And what are my errors, exactly, little brother? Please do tell. I’m all ears.”
“You’re so convinced you know the whole story, when in truth, you know very little.”
“And you know so much?”
“More than you. Because, unlike you, I choose to listen. Everyone has a side, brother. You’d be ignorant to assume yours is the only one that matters.”
I consider his words, knowing he’s not wrong. What London said about me letting her leave smacks me in the face all over again. Would she really have stayed if I had asked? Would she have asked me to come with her if I had gotten out of my own way and told her how I really felt instead of rolling over and accepting defeat?
No... I don’t know what delusional world she’s living in, but she made herself clear—she was leaving and it didn’t matter what I said or did. Nothing was going to change that.
“I’ll be nicer to London. There, will that make all of you happy?” I finally say after the silence stretches longer than I’d like.
“It’s not us we’re worried about.” Alec gives me a look I know all too well. The one that says, are you ready to stop being a stubborn a-hole now and actually listen.
I’m not oblivious to my mood since London’s return. I know I’ve been unbearable. I don’t mean to be, truly. It’s just... Every time I look at her, I can’t see past what she did to me. How she left me. How I lived in a black hole for nearly two years becauseof it. How I missed out on some precious last years of my father’s life wallowing in my own self-pity because of her.
