I push open the door and quickly disappear inside.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Penn
“Morning, sleepyhead.” I hear seconds before a hand slides across my middle.
I blink once, twice, my bedroom finally coming into focus.
“I didn’t think you were ever going to wake up,” Cat says moments before her lips touch my shoulder blade.
It takes a concerted effort not to pull away from the contact as regret floods through my chest. Cat has never stayed at my place before, and for a very specific reason, I don’t ever want to give her the impression that this is more serious than it is.
I don’t even really remember inviting her over. Then again, I had drunk a significant amount of whiskey, which probably explains why she’s still here. I passed out and she never left. Had I been sober, I would have shown her the door the instant I was done with her, as bad as that sounds.
“What time is it?” My throat feels like I gurgled with glass when I finally speak, the words scraping their way out painfully.
“Almost eight.”
“Eight?” I shoot up so quickly that my head spins and I damn near topple over the side of the bed. “Why didn’t you wake me earlier? You know I have to be at the docks at five.” I stand too quickly, swaying slightly to the left.
“I assumed if you wanted to get up, you would have set an alarm.”
“You need to go. I have to get to work.” I make a beeline toward the ensuite bathroom, ignoring her words of protest as I shut the door behind me, sealing myself inside.
Pressing my back to the door, I run my hands through my hair, groaning as my stomach twists, threatening to expel the whiskey that feels like it might have burnt a hole through my intestines.
I don’t know what compelled me to drink so much last night. I haven’t been that drunk since... Well, since London left. The thought fills me with so many mixed emotions, I can’t sort out what I’m actually feeling.
I’m angry; that much I know for sure. But I’m also conflicted, confused, hurt, irritated... Jealous, the little voice in the back of my head chimes in.
Visions of Travis and London together flash through my memory. The smile on her face. The way he was looking at her. How her entire expression fell the instant she saw me, like I was the last person she wanted to see.
I remember a time when her entire face would light up at the sight of me. When she would run to me, throw herself into my arms, and kiss me like I was the sun after she had spent too many days shrouded in darkness.
I used to be her whole world and now I’ve been reduced to nothing but the asshole she can barely stand to look at.
“Penn, you okay?” Cat knocks on the door.
“I’m fine. You can head out. I have to get to work.”
“I could make you something to eat.”
“I’m good,” I clip.
Deep breath in, deep breath out, I work to calm my irrational anger toward someone who honestly does not deserve it. Okay, so maybe she kind of deserves it, but am I really the kind of man to treat a woman poorly simply because I can’t get my head on straight?
But isn’t that exactly what you’re doing to London?
I block out that small voice, the one that’s determined to call me out even when I refuse to acknowledge that I’ve done anything wrong.
I’m the good guy here.
The innocent one.
The one trying to make my way through a less-than-desirable situation.
Only, I know that’s not true. And I don’t need some little voice in the back of my head telling me what I already know, because I already know it.
