It’s not like Penn and I are going to get back together. I’m not even sure I’d want to if given the chance.
Deep down, I know that’s not true, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to admit it, even to myself.
What Penn and I had is rare—that much I know to be true—but some things are better left in the past. What we had is done. There’s no use in dwelling over something I can’t change.
And why would I want to? After the way he’s treated me, you’d think I wouldn’t want a single thing to do with him... And I don’t.
The wine flowing through my veins blurs my ability to reason with myself. Sober London = no Penn. Semi-drunk London? Well, she can’t help but picture the way he used to kiss her, the way he used to touch her, the way he used toloveher.
Penn again tries to reason with Cat, shushing her as he looks around the room to see how many people have caught on to the altercation. When his eyes meet mine, something I can’t quite pinpoint passes over his expression.
Anger. Mortification. Regret. Pain.
All I know is it’s enough to steal the breath from my lungs and make me feel like all the air has currently been sucked from the room.
The next thing I know, he’s on his feet, exiting the restaurant like the dang thing just caught fire. It doesn’t take long for Cat to shove out of the booth and chase after him, and within seconds, they’re both gone.
“Well, hell.” Jos blows out a loud breath.
“Yeah.” I agree. Well, hell...
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Penn
“Where the hell are you going?” Cat chases me out of the restaurant where she just made one hell of a scene and because I have the worst luck in the world, of course London was there to witness the whole thing. As if this day hasn’t kicked me enough, might as well land another blow straight to my chest.
“Leaving.” I continue up the sidewalk, not able to get away from this situation fast enough.
“You’re going to leave? Just like that?” She grabs my arm and while I could easily keep walking, I come to an abrupt stop, turning to face her. “What about what you said?” Unshed tears fill her eyes and guilt slams into my gut.
Cat may be a terror, but even I can admit she doesn’t deserve this. Which is exactly why this has to end. I can’t keep pretending.
“I was drunk.” Apology dances through my words.
“So you didn’t mean it.” She swipes at a tear that sneaks past her lashes.
“You have been here for me in a time when I really needed it and, for that, I will forever be grateful to you. But my heart simply isn’t in this, and I can’t keep letting you believe that it is.”
“It’s because of her, isn’t it?”
“Her?”
“Oh, don’t play stupid with me, Penn. We both know who I’m talking about. You’ve been different ever since she came back to town.”
“This has nothing to do with London. She made her choice seven years ago. This has to do with me and you. I’m not in love with you, Cat. Most days, I’m not even sure I like you. And in truth, I’m not sure you like me either. Physically, we’re great together, but everything else...” I trail off.
“You still love her?”
“I already told you this isn’t about London.”
“You can try and make yourself believe that lie, but I’m not so easily fooled. I see the way you look at her. Like your world begins and ends with her. Like you can’t breathe when she walks into a room. You still love her.”
“What London and I had has been over for a very long time.”
“Then why end this now? I can forget about last night. I can pretend like you never said it if that’s what you want.”
“This isn’t just about last night.”
