A little laugh slips through my lips, and I shake my head. Shane looks over at me sharply.
“Something funny?”
“Not especially,” I reply. “I was just contemplating the ridiculousness of being kidnapped by a werewolf.”
“How do you think I feel?” Shane mutters. “This isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.”
“Sure, yeah,” I shoot back, a little agitated. “Go ahead and tell me how hard this is for you, when I’m the one making all the sacrifices.”
He doesn’t immediately reply, and when I look over, there’s just a hint of a smile on his face.
“You’re a firecracker, aren’t you?” he says. “You really won’t let me get away with anything.”
“Got that right,” I mumble, sitting back in my chair and crossing my arms even more tightly.
Something about that exchange felt very good, but I have to watch myself. My mind might do anything to comfort me and help me make sense of this—even feeling affection for Shane. I have to stay clear-headed.
“Okay,” Shane says, pulling the car into a quiet street. “This is my place.”
As we stop in the driveway, I look up at the little house, surprised by how neat it is. Shane looks like the kind of guy who lets the weeds grow wild and the paint peel, but the house is extremely well cared for.
I shrink back in my seat a bit more, the full reality of the situation settling on me. Once I go inside, our union is sealed, and I’m his bride.
No, no, no! Not again, I can’t do this again—
“Hyacinth?” Shane says, opening my door. “Are you okay?”
I jump a little, not realizing he’d gotten out of the car while my mind was wandering. He holds out his hand, and I take it hesitantly, letting him lead me towards the house.
Am I doomed to repeat the same actions? This time, it wasn’t my fault! I didn’t do anything at all, but here I am, trapped again.
Shane unlocks the door, and we go inside. I see it’s just as orderly in here as it is outside. I expected Shane’s house to be like his car—falling apart, dirty, and barely serviceable.
“Come on,” he says, taking my hand again. I let him lead me up the hallway to a small room with a narrow camp bed in the corner.
“You can sleep here,” he says. “Unless you want to share my room.”
“No, thank you,” I say emphatically.
He shrugs. “The girls said we should stay close to each other.”
“No one said it had to be that close.”
Shane sighs and rubs his neck awkwardly as he looks at the floor. I get the horrible feeling he knows something more about this—that it is actually necessary for us to share a bed.
No. No fucking way.
Time seems to roll to a soft halt, and a moment of calm settles over us. As I watch him struggle to think of what to say, I can’t stop looking at him. Now that we’re standing in better light, I can see his pale blond hair contrasting starkly against his tanned skin, and when he finally looks up at me, his eyes are a shimmering pale blue, like an endless summer sky.
“There is something to that,” he says, breaking the moment. “But I don’t think we should talk about it yet. I don’t even know that much about it.”
“Okay,” I respond, trying so hard to figure out my own emotions, I’m not really listening to him.
I am attracted to him, and that sucks. After everything that’s happened tonight, I can’t believe I still feel this way, but what did I really expect? This has always been my problem.
The dark wave of memories rises in my mind, a giant tsunami that threatens to break across my thoughts and completely destroy me. Every triumph I’ve made since I put all of that behind me suddenly looks weak, more like bravado than strength.
You’re pathetic, Hyacinth, the dreadful voice says. You always have been, and you always will be. Your only purpose is to serve me. That’s the only time you actually matter.
