Although maybe that’s just the exhaustion.
“It is not a waste to take care of you,” she says in nearly a whisper so she won’t disturb anyone else. “If we lose you, we’re all fucked. You know that, right?”
I nod, letting her lead me out the back. Kara sits me down in a chair and starts an IV, hooking me up to a fluid pouch.
“What’s in this?” I mutter.
“Just fluids to rehydrate you, and a nutrient boost. It’s the only thing that works. For some people, all it does is keep them alive. I’m hoping that for you, it will actually rejuvenate you a bit.”
“Yeah, me too,” I reply.
Kara finishes hooking me up, then waggles a finger at me as she gives me a stern look. “I’m going back out on the floor. You need to stay here until this is all finished. You got me?”
“Yeah,” I reply.
“No, not ‘yeah.’ I want you to sit, right here, and rest. Promise me.”
“Okay,” I sigh. “I promise.”
She narrows her eyes at me as if she doesn’t believe me, but she eventually turns to go back to the main hospital. I lean back on the chair, closing my eyes as the drip slowly ebbs into my veins.
She says they’re lost if they lose me, but what have I done to help anyone? Nothing. I’m fucking useless. It would be better to pass the mantle of alpha on to someone else at this point.
My thoughts blur, and I actually manage to doze for a while. When I wake up, I feel refreshed. Even though there’s still a bit of fluid in the bag, I pull the IV out and quietly slip out the back door.
Sorry, Kara. I couldn’t keep my promise. I have too much to do.
***
I drive over to work and make sure everything is running smoothly there. The guys have been a little lost without me, and I have to balance the budget and reorder a few items. It frustrates me that they can’t do these simple tasks without me, but I have to remind myself I chose them for their mechanics work, not their office skills.
By the time I leave the shop, my vision is wavering again, and my heart is beating so hard, I can feel it in my throat. With every pulse, colors streak across my vision, making me feel unbalanced and nauseous.
Am I actually cracking up right now?
The idea sends trickles of fear prickling through me.
Even though the sickness has been getting worse, I never once believed I could actually die.
As I drive to the bakery to pick up Hyacinth, I try to force that thought out of my mind, but it buzzes around in my head, as aggressively as an angry wasp. My anxiety and fear increase, and I have to grip the steering wheel to stay awake.
I’m not afraid to die, but if the sickness is affecting the alpha this badly, the rest of the pack have absolutely no hope.
At the bakery, I drag myself out of the car and go in through the back door. The kitchen and stockroom are quiet and dark, and I lean on a counter as I try to figure out what to do next.
“Hello?” Hyacinth’s voice cheerily calls through the main door to the shop. “Is that you, Lisa?”
I can’t even raise my head, let alone speak. I hear Hyacinth emerge through the doors and then her swift footsteps coming towards me.
“I’m just closing up, Lisa,” she calls around the corner. “I’ve got that fondant icing mix and—”
Her voice cuts off with a sharp gasp, and her footsteps quicken.
“Shane? What the hell happened? Are you okay?”
I try to answer, making every effort to look up in her direction, but a wave of nausea rolls over me, and the room spins into a blurry mess of color. I don’t even realize I’m on my way down until my body crashes to the ground with a horrific, shattering jolt.
All I know is pain. My world is utter darkness, flashes of agony tearing through me like jagged white waves across the shadows of consciousness. Despite that, I’m relieved that thenausea is gone. A cold weight is pressing all other sensations out of my body.
