“No, he had to be nice to me, too. But that was for later. And I didn’t care if other men were nice to me. I only cared if he was. Blackjack is special for me in a way he isn’t for anyone else,” Yarrow said and smiled at me. “Is that how Nova feels to you?”
“Yeah. Well, I think so. Today, I started doubting.”
“Was she cold? Should I send your sister to smack around this woman?”
Grinning, I watched Duffy pass by without acknowledging us. Beef Jerky suddenly noticed me and sniffed my boots.
Unlike the other Chihuahuas in his litter, my guy had an odd color scheme. His fur was a patchy black and white on his head and torso, while his legs were beige and white. He looked weird, which is why I immediately wanted him.
While stroking my little guy, I explained to Yarrow about what had happened with the Eddie Murphy face.
“Now, I have a date with Nova in two days.”
“What a strange way to show a man you like him,” my smiling mom said while resting her cheek against my arm. “Goldie doesn’t think you should date Nova.”
“I know.”
“She thinks that you need a normal woman to offset the fucked-up family you were born into.”
“Not fucked up. We’re just different.”
“I don’t mind being fucked up. That’s how I met Ginger and the crew. It’s why I found Blackjack. A normal version of me doesn’t have this life, so I like being fucked up.”
“So do I, but I also want Nova. I’m afraid what I want won’t be what she wants.”
“My boy fears disappointment.”
“I’ve never wanted a woman before. I feel unprepared.”
“Well, the most important thing is to find out if the woman wants you, too. Nova gave you that little paper with the actor’s face. That’s both a sign that she likes you and that she’s a weirdo. She knows the biker lifestyle, so that won’t scare her off. What are you so worried about, Boone?”
After a moment, I admitted, “Her girls.”
“Don’t you like them?”
“They’re cute, but I’m not sure how to act around them.”
“Just be the way you are with Alani’s kids or Lula’s daughter.”
“If Nova and I work out, I’d be, like, their dad. I’m not sure I’m father material.”
“Wait, what happened to their father?”
“He was an abusive fuck to Nova, so her brother ended the asshole.”
Yarrow smiled. “Aww, that’s sweet.”
“Yeah, but they don’t remember him. I’d be the guy they grow up thinking of as their dad. Am I someone built to help raise two little girls?”
“Sure, why the fuck not?” Yarrow muttered. “Is someone talking shit about you?”
“No, but kids scare me.”
Yarrow turned on the bench and took my hand. “When I was more messed up, I would get overwhelmed by stuff. I had to learn to break down problems into smaller parts, so I wouldn’t flip out. That’s what you’ve got to do now. So, what’s step one?”
“A date in two days.”
“Why wait?”
