“I’m always right,” Adam said knowingly, then glanced over the back of the couch to the hallway. “Sky, come out from there. I can feel your nervous energy, love.”
Sky squeaked and ducked his head as he came out from behind the corner. He looked stricken, his face flushing. “I-I’m sorry, I just… I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Come here, Sky.” I held out my arms to him, and Sky sank into them. I pulled him to my chest, Adam and I shifting on the couch to make room for him, just as we’d made room for him in our lives.
“No one is upset,” I promised him. “Everything is okay. I just need to work through my feelings. Nothing is changing between us, so don’t worry. Sometimes, we just need to hash things out in therapy, and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’ll call first thing in the morning and make an appointment. Until then? I need cuddles from my mates to make me feel better.”
Sky snuggled in, and Adam kissed my temple. “That can be arranged.”
I smiled and closed my eyes. Things were gonna be alright.
43
SKY
As the pregnancy progressed,so did my worries about the baby’s health.
In the facility, Dr. Thompson had taken so many scans and tests, but when Adam mentioned perhaps we should set up an ultrasound, I’d nearly come unglued. I’d had a panic attack, and it’d taken both my mates to calm me down.
I hated I was so broken, hated I couldn’t function like a normal member of society thanks to my past. Adam had called it “medical PTSD,” but giving it a name did nothing but make it even more obvious that I had a problem.
And it made me worry about the baby. What was going to happen when it was time to have the baby? Just the idea of going to the hospital for an ultrasound terrified me—what about childbirth? Would they have to sedate me? Was that even possible? Would it hurt the baby?
God, why was I such a fuck-up?
“Penny for your thoughts?” Adam leaned over the couch from behind, his arms crossed atop the back of it so that he could look down at me. I was curled up with a blanket, tryingto manage the anxiety humming like an electric current through my system.
He could probably sense that my energies were unstable. I sure as hell didn’tfeelstable right now, that was for sure. I hugged my arms to my sides and looked up at the Alpha, my heart taking off in jagged beats.
“You’re gonna need more than one penny for these thoughts.” I pushed the blankets back and sat up. “More like a whole handful.”
Adam’s lip curved. “I think I can afford it.” He came around the side of the couch and sat beside me, his outer leg pressed against mine and his hand settling over my knee. “What’s worrying you, love? Talk to me. You know I’m always here to listen.”
I thought about it for a minute or two, trying to untangle the threads of worry to put them into sentences that made sense. “I’m scared,” I finally admitted. “I’m scared of going to the hospital. I’m scared of having a baby. I’m scared of doctors, but the baby needs to see doctors, and I’m worried that if I don’t go and something is wrong and it dies, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“I see. That’s a lot of burden for one Omega to carry,” Adam murmured.
I sniffed and nodded. “What happens when the baby’s ready to come out? We’ll have to go to the hospital and I’ll freak out and everything will go wrong! What if I hurt it somehow? What if I have a heart attack from panicking? I don’t want to go back there, Adam…” A soft whine came up my throat, petering into silence.
He reached up and cupped my face in his hand. “Breathe, Sky. One thing at a time, alright? Fletcher and I are already working on alternative methods for childbirth. There are always midwives who do home births. Barring any medicalemergencies, you’d be able to have your baby right here, at home. There are options, so don’t panic yet.”
“Also, since you aren’t comfortable going to the hospital to get an ultrasound done, I’m bringing the ultrasound to you.”
I blinked. “Wait. That’s a thing?”
Adam smiled. “Sure is. In fact, I’ve already done a little research and found someone willing to make the journey to Greymercy for us.” He squeezed my hand. “We’ve got you, baby. We won’t let you down. Besides, don’t you want to know your baby’s gender?”
I nibbled on my lip nervously. Ididwant to know. As my belly got bigger and bigger, I found myself wondering whether it was a little boy or a little girl slumbering deep in my womb.
“Okay,” I agreed. “But I want you both there.”
“Of course,” Adam assured me, kissing my temple.
Two weeks later,an older woman with silvering blonde hair showed up on our doorstep with a portable ultrasound machine. It looked like an oversized, bulky laptop, honestly. I wasn’t sure how she was going to get images of the baby with that, but she seemed pretty certain, so I went along with it.
“Lie down on the bed and get comfortable. Your mates can lie beside you, if they wish,” she said, setting up shop on a small three-legged stool beside our bed.
I did as she asked. Fletcher settled in next to me, gently pulling my shirt up to expose the swell of my stomach to the cool air. I shivered. He squeezed my hand with a smile, while Adam stood at the head of the bed on the other side of me, his hand on my shoulder.
