"Don't do that," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Don't put that on yourself. This ain't on you. This is on them niggas and we gotta handle it."
Both of us had tears in our eyes now. We weren't even trying to hide it anymore. Our brother was gone and the world needed to know what that cost was about to be.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand and headed for the door.
"Let's go," I said.
But before we could move, I had to make one more call.
I dialed Tyree's number. It rang twice before he answered, and I could hear the grogginess in his voice like I'd woken him up from a deep sleep. Like he was laying up comfortable while my world was falling apart.
"Yeah, what is it?" he answered.
"I just got a call that my brother Zaire is dead!" I barked into the phone, not even letting him fully wake up. "That shit can't be real! I need confirmation and I need that shit now!"
"Kaseem, what are you talking about—"
"Get yo ass out that bed with that dead man's wife and come the fuck on now!" I cut him off. "Beat me there. Don't meet me there. Move!" I barked into the phone. I watched this nigga so hardthat I knew every other weekend he’d lie to his wife in order to stay with his baby momma and their bastard child.
I hung up before he could say another word.
Tatti was already grabbing her purse. Already moving toward the door with determination written all over her face. She wasn't asking for permission anymore. She was going. And I wasn't about to fight her on it. I ain’t have the strength.
Namier, me, and Tatti headed down the hallway and out the house. We loaded up in the truck. I was in the driver's seat, my hands gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white.
"Where are we going? Where was your brother at last?” Tatti asked quietly from the back seat.
Neither Namier nor I answered. We just drove. Fast. Hard. Into the dark Dallas night with nothing but rage, grief and a need for answers. Somebody was about to have to show me something. I looked over at my brother and that look in his eyes told me all I needed to know. We was about to get answers tonight, then we was about to set some shit off, and I put that on Zaire Carter.
The drive to my destination took an hour and ten minutes. The whole way there, Namier was twitching in the passenger seat next to me. His leg was bouncing. His hands were balled up. He kept looking out the window like he was trying to see through the dark. His anxiety was through the roof and I could feel it heavy. I had to keep calm, and keep a level head while I was driving in the dark.But damn, this nigga was beside me making me nervous.
Tatti didn't say nothing. She just sat in the back with her hands folded in her lap, watching her new world that she’d been dragged into fall apart.
When we pulled up to the entrance, Tyree was already standing out front smoking a cigar like he'd been waiting. This nigga musthave flew like a bat out of hell to beat me here. I was just glad that he knew I meant business and that when it came down to my brother, I needed him on top of shit and moving like his life depending on it, because it did. The second he saw the truck, he threw the cigar down and walked toward us. His face looked tired. Worn out. Like he'd been dealing with this shit longer than we had. I knew that his secret being exposed to Tatti was weighing on him.
We got out and Tyree looked between all three of us. His eyes landed on Tatti and something shifted in his face. It softened. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something to her and after a few seconds, he got his courage up.
"Baby girl, I—" he started.
"Now is not the time for that," Tatti cut him off sharp. Her voice was cold as ice. "We're here for business. We're here to check on my husband's brother. That's it. You don’t need to talk to me about anything right now, father.”
Tyree looked at her like he wanted to push it, but I cut in.
"Save that for later or whenever she ready to actually talk to you," I said, my voice leaving no room for argument. "Right now we need to know what the fuck is going on with my brother."
Tyree nodded and turned toward the entrance. "Come on. Let's get inside."
We went through the doors and started the process. Metal detectors. Forms. Security checks. The whole time we went through this process, Namier was getting more and more agitated. I could feel it radiating off him. That anger building like a volcano about to blow. We needed answers and he was impatient like a muthafucka. I couldn’t blame him. My nerveswere bad as fuck at the thought of my brother being dead, but I had to be the one to keep my cool. I had to remember I was in charge, and with that, I couldn’t fold.
When Tyree approached one of the officers asking for the warden, they told him the prison was on lockdown. There'd been a brawl earlier. A possible murder. They couldn't release any additional information yet.
That's when something in Namier snapped. I watched the exact moment that my brother broke. This shit was confirmation that we didn’t want to accept. Hearing those words cut him deep.
He punched the wall beside us so hard I heard the crack before I saw it. Then he went at a chair, kicked it across the room. He was destroying everything in sight. He was breaking and tearing these people shit up, breathing heavy and ragged like he was about to hyperventilate. This nigga was really crashin, and I felt that shit in my soul. This was a pain that I ain’t wish on my worst enemy.I watched him in real time, but I was too stuck in my own head to move. The word murder replayed in my head and it added up with the call Namier had gotten.
Eventually, I snapped back into reality because I didn’t need Namier in jail too. Shit was already too fucked up as is. I had to figure out how I was about to break this shit to my parents. Especially my momma. She loved Zaire more than she loved any of her boys. They had a different bond and I knew this would kill her. Especially after she told me not to go at them niggas, and to let her handle it. She was about to blame me for all of this, and I knew it.
This shit had to be a dream man. My brother couldn’t be gone. I’d just talked to him this morning. I was having an experience that I couldn’t really explain. Although I was standing here andpresent, it felt as if I was outside of my body watching everything around me happen. This shit was hurting bad. But, something inside of me wouldn’t allow me to believe this shit was true. They would have to show me my brother’s dead body in order for me to believe any of this shit.
