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Isaiah said he liked me, and I didn’t say a word back.
The hurt in his eyes; the way his shoulders crumpled as he turned away from me. . . I am an awful person. I pull the covers over my head. What is wrong with me? A really great, really hot guy tells me that he cares for me, and I freeze. And to make it worse, the courage to contact him completely eludes me.
I now understand why so many deer are hit by cars.
I emerge from the covers and reach for my phone. The screen lights up the moment I swipe at it. One in the morning. Who else in the world would be awake at one in the morning? No one. The rest of the world knows how to sleep. The rest of the world wouldn’t blow the biggest moment of their lives.
I scroll through my contacts until I find Isaiah. Underneath his picture is his name and number. My mouth dries out as I ponder the possibility. I could text him.
Nerves cause my heart to beat faster. What if I text him and he doesn’t text back? But what if I text him and he does text back?
Not allowing time to overanalyze the decision, I quickly type and hit Send.
Chapter 31
Isaiah
THE STREETLIGHT SHINES THROUGH THE slats of the blinds, creating a light ladder on the wooden floor. I fell into bed an hour ago, and at one in the morning I still can’t sleep.
Noah’s mattress creaks as he rolls and throws his arms out as if he’s searching for something. More like someone. When he comes up empty, his eyes crack open into slits. Echo’s staying at the dorms tonight, and he’s here because he’s pulling an early shift this morning. Noah messes his hands through his hair then lets out a disgruntled sigh as he resettles.
I swing my legs off the bed and my bare feet hit the cold subfloor. I rub at my bare chest, hoping to wake the rest of me up. My body’s tired, but my mind won’t shut off. I want to chase after the girl, but I don’t know how. Short of going to her house and scaling the walls like a punked-out Romeo, I’ve got no idea how to win Rachel. Besides, that Romeo shit is not my style.
Maybe a drive will clear my head.
“What’s eating you?” Noah asks with his eyes closed.
“Nothing. ”
“Bullshit. ”
Except for the fact he said something, Noah appears asleep. He’s been working his ass off between school, studying, seeing his brothers and Echo, then squeezing in as many hours as he can flipping burgers to keep us afloat. The most I see him is when he sleeps at night. The kid is almost a walking corpse.
“You’re worried about the money for rent, aren’t you?” Noah mutters.
Fuck me. I slide both hands over my face then cup my mouth and my nose. On top of owing Eric, I owe Noah money for rent. I can’t believe I forgot. “I’m sorry, man. ”
“Don’t be,” he said. “I’m the one that’s sorry. I don’t want to fail you. ”
“You won’t. You aren’t. ” My shoulders roll forward like I’ve got a damn aircraft carrier on my back. I’ve thought time and time again about telling Noah the truth, but I haven’t. Only because there never seems to be a good time, but now I can’t tell him. I can’t let him shoulder this burden. Not when he already has too much riding on him. “It’ll work out. ”
Noah opens his eyes and examines me. “Yeah, it will, so don’t do anything fucked-up over it. ”
Pressure builds in my neck because I already know what he’s referring to. “Like what?”
“Like street racing. Seeing Beth in handcuffs gave me my fill of police stations for a lifetime. I don’t need you to be joining the ranks. ”
My phone buzzes in the back pocket of my jeans on the floor. I close my eyes. It’s gotta be Beth. She’s the only one who’d text this late.
Noah throws his arm back over his face. “Answer her, Isaiah. Beth’s going nuts over your silence. ”
“Not interested in making her feel better. ”
“Here’s some crazy shit—maybe I’m more interested in you feeling better. If you could find a way to let her go maybe I’d see you happy again. Like you were the night you brought Rachel home. ”
Anger twists in my body. Noah’s talking about stuff he should stay away from. “Fuck you. ”
Noah raises his hand and flashes me the finger.
