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His head whips to Ethan. “And you’ve been in on this?”
Ethan won’t stop staring at the toilet. “For a few weeks. ”
I wince when West slams the door against the neighboring stall. “She was in the hospital over this shit. Do you want to watch her body waste away again?”
Tears threaten my eyes, and I rub at my nose. “Just stop. ”
“Stop!” West shouts. “Why should I stop? You’ve been lying!”
“Whatever,” Ethan spits at West. “You pretended not to see it. So did I. Look me in the eye. . . no, look Rachel in the eye and tell her that you haven’t suspected the truth the entire time. She lied to make Mom happy, to make us happy and you’re pissed the dream is over. ”
West takes two steps and stands nose to nose with Ethan. The anger in the air between them is so thick I could gag. They’re the same height, both over six feet. Ethan with dark hair and dark eyes. West with blond hair and blue eyes. Brothers less than a year apart.
West shoves his finger in Ethan’s chest. “You should have told me. ”
“Now you know. ”
After a few more tense seconds, West eases away. “What now?”
“We keep the secret,” says Ethan. “Mom’s happy. Jack’s working on Gavin. ”
West becomes a statue. “She knows about Gavin?”
“Yes. She knows he’s out of work. ” Something in the way Ethan overpronounces the words makes me question their meaning, but West is finally calming down and I don’t want to risk another eruption.
West’s shoulders visibly relax. “And the speeches?”
“We help her. One of us should go with her to the speeches and deflect Mom if she has an attack. And Rachel will tell us if her panic attacks escalate to blood. ”
West picks up the bag I keep in my gym locker with extra clothes. “I got this for you. You’ve got ten minutes to take a shower and make it to fourth period. ”
Both of my brothers stare at me, and I draw my knees to my chest. I hated this feeling back in middle school, and I hate this feeling now. No matter what I do in my life, the two of them will always view me as someone to be controlled.
* * *
By the time sixth period rolls around, the school salivates with the news: recluse Rachel Young is weird again. When I enter the library for my internship, I’m greeted by the sound of giggles. The words whispered between ponytail tosses are not lost on me. “I told you she was strange. . . ” Chuckles and lower whispers. “. . . completely freaked out in physics. ”
Unable to face anyone, I duck into one of the stacks. I suck in a breath, not for an attack, but to stop the tears. Why? Why am I like this?
At the back wall, I sink to the ground and my phone vibrates. I pull it out and see the one person who doesn’t treat me as weird or as incompetent. Isaiah: Look out the window.
My forehead furrows. I grab my pack and walk to the windows overlooking the student parking lot. In the back, Isaiah leans against his black Mustang. My smile automatically appears.
Me: See you.
Isaiah: Skip with me.
Skip. Besides that day with Eric, I’ve never ditched before. But that day was covered with a sick note from Mom. Leaving today would be different. It would be scandalous. It would be. . . everything I need.
Chapter 45
Isaiah
I EASE MY CAR TO the curb, and Rachel dashes out of school like a robber running out of a convenience store, her blond hair trailing behind her in the wind. I chuckle and reach over to open the passenger side. She falls into the car with her cheeks red from the cold. “Let’s go!”
Weaving her hand in mine, I kiss her knuckles and place her palm over the stick shift with my hand securely covering hers. I step on the clutch and apply pressure to her hand so that she’ll shift into First. “You’re letting me drive your car?” she asks.
“Shift,” I correct. “But I’ve never let a girl shift my car before. Feel honored. ”
