“What?”
He’s quiet for a moment, like he’s gathering courage. “That night. Six years ago. When I found you in Antonio’s study.”
My body tenses at the memory. “What about it?”
“I was supposed to kill you. That was the job. Eliminate Antonio and any witnesses. Leave no loose ends.”
I already knew this, but hearing him say it out loud still makes my stomach drop.
“But you didn’t.”
“No. I didn’t.” He pulls back slightly so he can see my face. “You looked at me with such horror and fear, like I was a monster.”
“You had just killed a man in front of me.”
“I know. And I was a monster. I am a monster. But you…” He traces my cheekbone with his thumb. “You looked at me like I was still human. Like underneath the blood and violence, you could see something worth saving.”
“I didn’t?—”
“You did. Maybe you didn’t realize it. But in that split second before I told you to run, you looked at me and you didn’t just see a killer. You saw a person. Someone capable of choice.” His voice drops lower. “It broke something in me that had been frozen for years. Made me question everything I thought I knew about who I was.”
I stare at him, seeing the truth in his eyes. “That’s why you let me go.”
“That’s why I couldn’t pull the trigger. Why even when I traced you back to the club to finish your off, I still couldn’t. Why I told you to disappear. Why I searched for you for six years even though I knew it was irrational and dangerous and stupid.”
“And now?”
“Now you’re here. With our son. And I’m terrified every second of every day that I’m going to lose you both. That my world will catch up with us and destroy everything I care about.”
I cup his face, making him look at me. “You’re not going to lose us.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No. But I know you. And I know you’ll fight like hell to keep us safe. That has to be enough.”
He kisses me again, softer this time, and I taste the desperation underneath, as it hits me.
This ruthless killer who’s built an empire on fear and violence is capable of love. He just doesn’t know how to express it without the violence. Doesn’t know how to be tender without also being possessive.
But he’s trying. For me. For Luca.
And maybe that’s enough.
20
DANTE
“Boss.” Marco doesn’t knock as he walks in hastily into my office and sets a tablet on my desk like it’s poison. “We cracked one of Antonio’s old servers.”
I look up expectantly from the reports I’ve been reading. “And?”
“You’re going to want to sit down for this.”
I’m already sitting, but I get what he means. His face is flushed and tells me that whatever is in that tablet, I’m not going to like it.
I hired some underdog investigators years ago to get me the full scope of what might be contained in Antonio’s ledger based on old servers we found when I took down Antonio. I made Marco in charge of the feedback. There’d never been any results, and each piece of equipment we found from constant searching got added to the investigation. I’d almost given up hope we’d ever find anything without the ledgers.
“Show me.”
