His eyes squeezed closed for a beat. “I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t want to drag you into this world.” His attention skated over my shoulder to Kai’s crib. “Just like I’m terrified of having him in it.”
“Do you really think you’re bad for him? That you’d let anyone or anything hurt him?”
“Never.” It slashed out like a blade.
“Then don’t be afraid of loving him. Because I’m not sure if you’re aware, but that is exactly the meaning of the promise you just made. That’s love, Silas.”
He flinched so hard I might as well have punched him in the face.
A rake of horrified words spilled into the addled air. “My blood is cursed. Tainted. And I’ll do anything to save him from that.”
“So you’re saying he’d be better off without you?”
His thick throat bobbed as he swallowed, wavering, hesitating, his attention back on the child.
He was so conflicted I was surprised this man didn’t cut right in two.
“No.”
“Then love him, Silas. Love him with everything you have.”
I gulped and pressed forward, laying myself bare.
“Love me.” The appeal croaked from my mouth.
Silas froze. Torment seethed in his being, and his eyes pinched closed as he muttered, “I can’t.”
It was a blade stabbed directly into my heart.
A violent evisceration.
But I expected it, didn’t I? I knew there was no place this could go but to its end, and I’d begged for it, anyway.
Somehow, I managed to keep it together enough to nod, though I could barely speak. “Goodbye, Silas.”
I hurried across the hall and into his room, frantic as I gathered a few things, stuffing what I could into my duffel and leaving the rest.
I had to get out of there.
Far freaking away.
I wasn’t about to go back to the room over the club.
I was going to disappear.
From everything and everyone.
Dereck could fend for himself because it was time I looked after myself.
Time I went after the things thatI deservedand the things thatI wanted.
Too bad what I wanted was the man who stood as a dark silhouette in the middle of Kai’s doorway when I flew back out of his room.
I nearly stumbled with the look on his face.
Crushed all over again by the absolute devastation carved in the slashed, explicit lines. I guess he was right, after all. We both were going to end up ruined.
I forced myself to drop my head, slinging the strap over my shoulder and beelining for the stairs.
