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“I thought about it and I want to take the co-op track.”
“I haven’t had enough time to get Dave’s Automall approved yet.”
“Twenty bucks says that’s not the problem.”
She assesses me like I’ve figured her out. I’ll admit to feeling a bit smug and I’m not ashamed to let it show.
“Hold your hands out,” she says.
Uh... “What?”
“Your hands. Hold them out.”
I slowly outstretch my arms. Mrs. Collins picks up a huge stack of papers and folders and drops it like a ton of bricks onto my hands. It’s so heavy my arms give way and it all lands in my lap. “What are you doing?”
“If you don’t feel like you can apply to a major college or university, which I disagree with, then we start with community colleges. You’ll work on your associate degree then move on to another school for your Bachelor’s. That stack has every scholarship application and financial aid document I could find last night and I guarantee with a few more phone calls, I can find more.”
No thoughts. Not a one. Other than somehow the power in the room just shifted.
In her knee-length skirt, Mrs. Collins crouches so that she’s at my level. “You can do this, and I want you to let me help you. I’ll admit it can be daunting and not always easy, but together we can figure it out.”
My heart pauses because I’m on the verge of going places in my mind that I shouldn’t. “I need the job.”
“And you’ll have it. I talked to Dave. They’re hiring for a new position, which means they not only need someone during the day, but in the evening and on weekends as well. It won’t be easy, Stella. I’ll never promise you easy, but lots of people work full-time jobs and go to school. It’s not the traditional way, but...” She smiles as she looks at my hair. “Something tells me you’re okay with nontraditional.”
I don’t know what to say so I say nothing.
“Let me help you,” she says. “I want to help.”
The papers threaten to spill to the ground, but I catch them before they can leave my hands. “You say that now...” I think of Dad and all of the girlfriends of Christmases past. “But I’ll stop being new and shiny and then you’ll find another kid in this school to pick on.”
“I’m not going anywhere. We’ll meet every Tuesday, an hour before school.”
“What if I don’t want this?” I ask, not sure if the question is for her or for me.
“What if you do?” She turns it around.
What if I do? What if she’s right? What if there’s another way to reach my dreams while still being realistic?
“Maybe I want to try.” I test out the words—part of me cringes and another part becomes lighter. I have no idea which side is wrong and which side will eventually be proven right.
“Then let me help.”
The papers crackle under my grip. I’m a moron. I’m stupid. This is the worst mistake ever... “Okay.”
Jonah
Stella wasn’t in American Lit and my blood pulses with nervous anticipation as I wait for her in the cafeteria. I’m at my regular table and so is everyone else, except Cooper is sitting at the other end. The guys try to talk sports, but they sense the change. It’s in the air...it’s everywhere.
I glance at the clock. Two more minutes and I’m checking the library. Stella can’t avoid me forever.
The door from the main hallway opens and Stella enters the cafeteria. She’s completely focused on a booklet in her hand and she holds far more papers than I’ve ever seen her with. It takes me a second to register this difference, as she always comes in absorbed by a paperback, like clockwork, but not today and that’s good. It’ll go along with everything I have to say.
I walk in her direction and Stella sinks into a chair at an empty table near the back, still reading.
“You left before we were done talking.”
Stella jerks and then blinks like she doesn’t believe I’m there. “Jonah—”
