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“I can stay in Louisville this way,” she says. “Ricky won’t touch me physically and he won’t ask me to sell with law enforcement watching me as a possible dealer. If I do this, I don’t have to give up being me. I don’t have to leave town. I don’t have to be anyone other than Abby and I like being Abby. Almost as much as I love queso and bunnies.”
“How long?”
Abby briefly glances away and then slowly breathes out. “I made this deal and I asked them to keep me until at least a month before I graduate from high school. That way I won’t be in the foster system for long.”
West is shouting, “Hell no,” Isaiah picks up the pool stick and tosses it across the table, knocking several of the balls onto the floor. I step forward and cradle Abby’s face, lowering my forehead to hers. “Why?”
Her hazel eyes search mine for approval, for understanding. “Because I need to graduate. When I leave, I won’t have anything. Mac will sell the house to take care of Grams, there isn’t a social worker on the planet that will return custody to him. I don’t want to be in the system for long. I turn eighteen right before I graduate and I need to graduate. In juvie, I’ll have a somewhat stable place to live, hot meals, and an education. Since I walk out of there a ward of the state, I’ll get to take advantage of them paying for my college education.”
She smiles but it doesn’t meet her eyes. “Can’t you see I’m working an angle? Harvard wanted me, Logan. That means I got a shot at something decent if I can pull myself out of this mess.”
I breathe in, trying to memorize her scent. I kiss her lips, promising myself and her that I’ll do this again. “We still together?”
She nods. “There’s a bunny I plan on collecting at the end of this and I will be really fucking pissed off he dies before I get to hold him again.”
I haul Abby into me, hugging her as if I can keep her safe from her past, but I can’t. In order for her to move forward, she has to pay for her past sins. Better now than later. Better this way than her payment being her life.
“I’ve got to go,” Abby whispers.
I release her and try to ignore the burn in my throat as she hugs Rachel and then sends a pleading goodbye glance to West and Isaiah.
Abby blows out a long breath of air and when she inhales, back is the girl I first met at the garage. The girl who can face down death and not feel fear. That mask that has kept her safe, that will keep her safe, and will eventually bring her back to us as the person she wants to be.
Abby turns away from us and when she reaches the halfway point, Isaiah steps forward. “I can’t let her do this.”
I grab his bicep and press my fingers down hard. “Stay here.”
He circles, his back to the bar, unable to watch his best friend be arrested. I keep hold of his arm and Rachel slides up to his other side and offers support as if he’s a house on the verge of collapsing.
Abby leans over the bar to call the bartender and mouths move as she begins her conversation with the undercover police officer. After Abby shows him whatever was in her back pocket, in slow motion, the officers stands and shows her his badge.
My eyes burn when Abby’s shoulders sag in relief. Relief. Fuck. What has this world come to that this is relief? He produces handcuffs and when she turns, it’s not only Isaiah that needs help. I grip his arm tighter and in return he’s gripping me and Rachel is now hugging her brother.
“She’s coming back,” I say, and I hate how my voice comes out hoarse. “She’s coming back and she’s coming back to stay.”
“God, I hope so,” mutters Isaiah.
She will. Abby will because she loves us...because I bought her a bunny.
Emails
To: Abby
From: Logan
Re: I dare you
Date: August 24
Abby,
Dare accepted. Twenty-five new things in three weeks. I’m feeling good on this dare. I’m not the one behind walls. My possibilities are more endless.
I’m attaching a pic of your Grams. She asked for you today. Didn’t say much else, but she did say your name. Isaiah and West checked out some nursing homes for when the money runs out. Chris knows someone who works at a good place. All three are headed there this weekend. Mac put the house up for sale so he’ll have the money for it.
Be prepared to lose the dare.
Logan
