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She bitterly laughs. “No, but it sounded good. I get what you’re saying though. I’ve spent my whole life being Mozart’s daughter, the girl he saved from the junkie, Grams’s second chance, the street hustler for Ricky, the pet project for Linus. I don’t have a clue who I am. Do you think normal people ever feel like us? Like we’re so busy being what everyone in our lives say we are that we never have a chance to be anything else?”
“Who are normal people?” I ask.
“Not us.”
Not us.
“Truth?” she asks.
I squeeze her fingers. “Truth.”
“I like who I am more around all of you then I ever liked myself before. Sort of like I had been trying out other people’s skin like a girl trying on clothes. The person I was before I met any of you, the person I am when I’m not around any of you feels too tight, too scratchy, too irritating. But when I hang with any of you, it’s like I can breathe.”
That’s a big statement for Abby and I’m dumbfounded as to what to say. Instead, I gently pull on her hand until she tilts her body so that we’re facing each other.
“Bigger truth?” she whispers.
“Bigger truth.”
“I really, really like who I am when I’m around you.”
I tuck her hair behind her
ear and enjoy the silky strands as they fall from my fingers. For months I ignored the truth, gave what was brewing between me and Abby other labels—attraction, friendship, playing around, lust.
While Abby definitely takes my breath away every time she walks into a room, there’s always been more between us and it’s time to man up. “Abby, I’m in love with you.”
Abby
I can’t breathe.
Logan’s in love with me. With me. And he knows all my dirty secrets. Not just the slightly-coated-with-dust secrets. The real deep muddy ones. The secrets that are so crusted over that they’re cemented into my soul. He knows all of these things, but he loves me anyhow.
“People don’t love me,” I whisper. Fear me. Leave me. Hate me. Use me. But love? Grams loved me but she left me mentally a long time ago and my father...I was the closest he had to experiencing emotion.
“I do.”
My heart thunders. “Normal people don’t love me.”
Logan’s mouth twitches into a somewhat smile. “Guess it’s good I’m crazy.”
I sock him in the shoulder. “I’m serious.”
“I am, too.”
“On being crazy?”
“Yeah and on the loving you.”
I sit up. “Will you stop saying that?”
“What, that I love you?”
“Yes!” I shriek. “That.”
“Why?”
“Because what if you don’t mean it? What if you think you love me and you don’t?”
