“Please do not make me go, I’m just going to trip over the gown,” I beg, almost stumbling over my words in my panic. “I don’t even know how to dance!”
This seems to change matters as her smile shifts to a frown. “Oh dear, now that might be a problem.” Her lips purse as she thinks, tapping a finger against her bottom lip. “We shall have to arrange dance lessons for you.”
My very brief hope that I might not have to attend is quickly snatched away. Somehow, the situation has become so much worse. Not only am I going to be forced to attend a ball where everyone is going to be staring at me, but I have to havedance lessons.
“What? No, wait-”
Abbie cuts me off as though I was never speaking and continues, her expression thoughtful. “There won’t be time to teach you anything complicated but we can probably get a few of the more basic dances in there.”
“Abbie, I can’t.” My genuine alarm and dismay seem to reach her, snapping her from the planning focus she had slipped into.
“Of course you can,” she smiles gently and places a hand on my wrist. “Trust me, I won’t allow you to look a fool tomorrow.”
I’m surprised to realise that in this, I do trust her. There is no getting out of this, so I just have to accept that it is happening,whether I like it or not. Suddenly I am feeling tense and on edge, the restrictiveness of my new role already chafing.
“I think I am going to take a walk around the gardens.” I smile weakly at Abbie, hoping that she doesn’t think I am trying to escape her. In all honesty, I am in desperate need of some fresh air and spending time alone, away from everyone.
“Do you want a companion?” She asks brightly, walking toward the doors that will lead us outside, clearly wanting to come with me.
“No, but thank you.” Instantly I feel bad, her face falling at my quick dismissal. She quickly smiles again to cover it, but I saw the flash of hurt in her eyes. Somehow, this woman has worked her way into my consciousness and made me care for her. Not like how I care for Ella, yet I am uncomfortable knowing that I might have hurt her feelings.
“I just need to be alone. A lot has happened very quickly,” I attempt to explain, trying to lessen the blow of my rejection. If anything, I think it is making things worse, my awkwardness shifting the atmosphere.
Abbie shakes her head and gives me a warm smile. “Of course. I understand.I am here if you need someone to talk to.”
She seems genuine, so perhaps I did imagine the hurt I saw in her expression? Either way, she leaves the room without another word. I watch her go, new and uncomfortable feelings in my chest that I cannot decipher.
Tracing my steps back through the palace, I manage to make my way outside, the warm morning sun washing over me. As I don’t have a particular destination in mind, I simply enjoy the feeling of the breeze against my skin and wander across the paved patio to the steps leading down to the gardens, desperately in search of some peace.
Nineteen
The further I get away from the palace, the lighter I feel. The crushing weight of new responsibilities lifting with each step I take, the oppressive gaze of the king slowly fading. However, that feeling doesn’t truly leave, even when I’m alone. He is like a phantom, stalking the corridors of my mind, there, but also not.
I refuse to allow him so much space in my mind, so I push that feeling away any allow myself to absorbed the peace the gardens offer. The air is perfumed with the scent of roses, hydrangeas and lavender, all delivered on a gentle breeze that dances along my skin.
Despite the calming scents and beautiful sights of the flowers, my mind quickly slides back to everything that has happened today. What am I expected to do now? Am I simply waiting on the King’s order, to perform like a circus animal on demand? How is that going to work? I cannot simply summon Kit every time the king snaps his fingers. The consequences of it being discovered that not only do I not have magic, but am using ademonto help me deceive everyone would be catastrophic. Ella is safe now, and I cannot do anything to jeopardise that.
Following a wall of rose bushes, I enter a small patioed space. A domed arch covered in climbing flowers sits over a bench, offering shade to its future occupants. In the centre of the space is a circular pond. Even from here I can spot flashes of orange of the fish darting around in its water. Lillies and reeds surround its boundary in the manicured way that is supposed to look natural, when really it takes hours of maintenance. The hight of the rose bushes around the area closes it off and gives the feeling of privacy, the space small and intimate.
Ignoring the bench, I walk over to the pond and sit beside it. The water is clear and I cannot help but marvel at how much water the palace seems to have. Children in the Gutter are dying because they cannot get enough clean water to drink, and here they have so much they build ponds and fountains.
Part of me had always wondered if, perhaps, the king didn’t know what was happening in the city, particularly in the Gutter. He never visits, and the city officials visit him at the palace. Would those males tell him the truth about the squalled state of the Gutter, or do they lie to make themselves seem competent?
However, I don’t believe that a male as smart and scheming as his wouldn’t know what was happening in his own city. Besides, he mentioned dilapidated buildings and starvation when he was trying to convince me to accept his terms, meaning that heknows. He knows that his people are starving, that parts of the city are falling apart, about the crime that is rife within the Gutter. He knows, and does nothing about it.
Anger burns deep in the pit of my stomach. By accepting the king’s deal, am I betraying the people of the Gutter? Leaving them behind and accepting a new life here? Huffing in frustration, I shake my head. They abandoned me just as much as everyone else did when I was sullied, they don’t care about Ella or me. I am doing what I must to keep my sister safe. Besides, I don’t trust the king. If there is an opportunity for us tobreak free of this deal, then I will. I know there is nothing I can do to change anything yet, and that ember within me continues to burn.
Dipping my finger into the water, I create patterns in the ripples on the surface, trying to release some of my frustration. Without realising what I am doing, I slide my free hand into the pouch of gems I insist on carrying with me. Instinctively I reach for amethyst, a calming, gentle stone, yet that is not what I find. Lifting my fist toward the sky, I open my fingers to reveal a polished piece of Labradorite that sits in the palm of my hand. The greyish stone might not look like much, but twist it in the light and it reveals a gorgeous rainbow within. Technically a mineral, many people overlook it because at first glance you might not always see the beauty within. It is a powerful gemstone in its own right, without being loaded with additional magic.
It hums at my touch, the cool surface helping to ground me. This was exactly the stone that I needed. Labradorite is all about transformation and self-discovery, as well as offering protection from negative energies. Seeing as the atmosphere I am now living in is heavy with tension, this is something I desperately need. Rubbing my thumb across the smooth surface, I take several deep, calming breaths, letting the stone clear my cluttered thoughts.
I wish I had someone to talk to, someone who can help me make sense of this and guide me. There is too much at stake here for me to be blindly fumbling around. My heart suddenly flutters in my chest and I feel a slight pulling sensation. What was that, and why does it feel familiar? Closing my eyes, I focus on the feeling and follow the thread within myself. Kit. It is my bond with Kit that I am feeling. Is he calling me, messing with my mind? Or did my mind reach for the only being that fully understands the situation I am in.
Snorting, I shake my head at the irony of the situation. Kit is one of the major reasons I am in this situation, and now he has become the only person that I can speak to. I cannot quite believe that I am about to do this, but in this moment, I need guidance.
“Kit, what do I do?” I ask quietly, tilting my head back as I speak aloud, looking up at the sky. I have no idea if he is listening or not, but I pour my confusion and need into my words. “I feel so lost.”
“Talking to the gods?”
