“Rachel showed me.”
“So I had to cover. I had to—”
“Lie, Jake. The word you’re looking for is ‘lie.’”
I could hear his breath catch on the other end, but he didn’t try to deny it. “Um, yeah. I was caught and, um, I had to think fast.”
“Connor is going to kill you.”
“I know. He’s already giving me the death glare, but I can deal with him. I’m worried about you.”
I shifted uncomfortably. I hadn’t dated much, but even I could smell bullshit from a guy’s mouth. “You mean you’re worried that I’ll expose your lie. That I’ll tell everyone that I’m the…” I couldn’t quite say the word. “That I did exactly what I they think I did—insisted on an old-fashioned date that ended up with me half-naked on your balcony.”
“It’s none of their business!” he snapped. “But Ellie, anything put on the internet lasts forever. It’ll come up every time you apply for a job. They’ll look you up online, and it’ll be there.”
I winced. I wanted to get that ER nurse job so badly, I could taste it. It’s the reason I started on my whole campaign to get stronger—so I could stand firmly aligned with my goal, despite the possibility of rejection and ridicule. But it would be all for nothing if the hospital’s hiring committee saw any of the morning’s press. They were conservative people who liked their staff to maintain a proper image. This morning’s news could be enough to turn them against me.
“But how does your lie get us out of this?”
“It changes the story. It makes us star-crossed lovers instead of…instead of the crap that’s out there now. Look, it won’t last forever. Just for this season, and we’re already halfway through it. Then, sometime this winter, we can break up. Quietly. Nobody has to know. And by that time, nobody will care.”
Except me. How was I going to have a fake relationship—almost an engagement—with a guy I’d fantasized about for years? I wouldn’t be able to separate my feelings from the role I was playing. It would kill me.
“Ellie, please,” he begged. And even though it was over the phone, I could still picture his face. Green eyes like new grass, light brown curls falling over his face. His mouth would be quirked in a self-conscious smile, but every part of him would be begging me to agree. And even though it was in my imagination, I grew soft and wet just thinking about it.
“Jake, lying never works out for me. I suck at it.”
“You don’t have to do anything. Just smile and be you. I’ll take care of the rest.”
I shook my head. Everything in me wanted to refuse, but what were my options? The last thing I wanted was for my parents to see what the internet trolls were saying. But they’d already heard about Jake and me dating in secret. How could I tell them now that it was all a lie? Worse, I’d have to admit that I’d gone on the balcony and did what I’d done on the first date. Mom would be angry, but Dad would give me that I’m-disappointed-in-you look. It’d kill me.
“Ellie—”
“Okay.” I said the word in a rush. “What do you need me to do?”
Chapter Eleven
Jake
I hated being afraid. I hated it, and right now, I was terrified.
It wasn’t the press, though I was sitting in the pregame press area and being grilled about last night. I’d predicted the questions with 99 percent accuracy and had my answers ready. I just kept repeating that I did what I had to do in the fire, and could we talk about baseball now? I didn’t mention Ellie at all. Just did my best to deflect their attention away from her.
It worked for the most part, and eventually questions shifted back to the upcoming game. And that allowed me to finally leave the briefing, even though my stomach was still in knots.
I wasn’t afraid of Connor, either, though he slammed me against the wall in the locker room. He didn’t say a word. Just drilled me with narrowed brown eyes while his jaw muscle worked. He was a man of few words, but damn, his silence made the pain in my stomach spike enough to make me sweat. I stammered out, “I’m not going to hurt her. I swear.”
It was a lie. I’d already hurt her when I seduced her up to that balcony last night. And now—forever on the internet—there were all sorts of ugly stories about her. I hated it, but I was doing everything I could to change it, and both Connor and I knew that. But Connor’s question was about the future. Was I going to hurt her any worse?
“I swear, I think she’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t what I’d intended to say. “I want her to be safe as much as you do.”
“I don’t want her safe,” Connor said, his voice thick. “I want her loved. And I don’t think you can do that.”
I flinched. He was right. I didn’t do that, and everyone knew it. Even Ellie. My gaze slipped away until I was staring at the stained locker room carpet. “I can,” I murmured.
“No. You did. Sometime before. But now you can’t—you don’t.”
Fury built inside me, hot and dark, a spark that became a bonfire in the space of one breath. Suddenly I was shoving him off me though it made my ribs burn with pain. “It’s my love life, Connor. And hers. You can butt the hell out.”
