She nodded. “What of you? Were you there when your brother died?”
“Nay. I was in the Holy Land when it happened.”
“Was it an accident for him as well?”
Sin swallowed. “Nay, he killed himself.”
She gasped at the news and quickly crossed herself. “The poor lad. Why?”
“He felt this love you speak of, and sadly the woman he loved didn’t return his devotion, but rather she ran away with our brother Ewan.” Kieran had been unable to deal with it.
That pain still burned inside Sin who cursed love and every misery it brought to those poor fools who fell for the lies.
“I can’t imagine anything worse.”
Sin could. In fact, he had lived through things much worse. But then life was nothing if not pain.
They ate in silence for a time while Callie studied her would be husband. There was such an air of reserved sadness to him. One of hurt vulnerability which made no sense to her.
How could a man so strong be so vulnerable?
“A mighty oak can be felled by even the tiniest of insects when one allows them to continually gnaw at it.” She hadn’t thought about her mother’s saying in a very long time. And yet it was true.
She had a feeling there was much that gnawed at the man before her. Though he carried an air of aloofness, surely it bothered him that everyone he met either bore him fear or hatred. How could it not?
When they finished eating, Sin escorted her to her room. Callie hesitated at the door.
Come the morning, the two of them would be united and she didn’t know much more about him now than she had before.
“Thank you, Sin, for humoring me this evening.”
Sin gave a subtle nod. He’d enjoyed this night much more than he cared to admit. Normally he took his meals in the silence of his own room. The sound of her voice had been a pleasant change.
Before he knew what she was doing, she placed a tender hand to his face, rose up on her tiptoes and kissed his left cheek. His breath caught at the sensation of her feathery light lips against his flesh. The warmth of her hand on him.
His body reacted instantly, hardening with desire for her and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and make love to her for the rest of the night.
But he couldn’t seem to move. He was held immobile by her gentleness.
“Good night, Sin,” she breathed, leaving him.
He didn’t move until she’d stepped into her room and closed the door.
Sin stared at it, his heart pounding as desires he thought he had banished flooded him.
In the space of a few seconds, he remembered every time in his life he had ached for someone to hold him. For someone to even just pretend they cared for him. Reality had forced him long ago to stop thinking of such things. To stop yearning for desires that would never come true.
And yet...
That hope was back. It was back and it was crippling in its ferocity.
Don’t...
He knew better than to let himself be fooled. Foolish desires amounted to nothing but more pain. And he’d been dealt more than his fair share of that emotion.
Sooner or later, she would reject him. He held no doubts. And it would hurt a lot less if he kept himself away from her.
He would take her home to the wild hills that had birthed her and then he would set her free to find a man she could love. A man with whom she had something in common. Someone who knew how to dance and how to sing.
