If he lived to be a thousand years old, he would never come to terms with the fact that Sin had gone while he had stayed.
“Is there any way you will ever forgive my mother for what she did?” Braden asked at last.
Even in the dark, Braden could feel Sin’s hatred. “They tell me anything is possible. But since I can’t forgive my own mother for what she did, why should I ever forgive yours?”
Braden said nothing. He remembered that fateful day every bit as well as Sin did. The day King David had come to their castle and demanded a son to help make peace with the English king after the war they had waged for northern England.
His father had turned a wary, thoughtful eye to each of his sons. The five of them had collectively held their breaths in fear, knowing one of them would have to go.
Lochlan had bravely taken a step forward when all of a sudden, their mother had grabbed him and pulled him back. She gathered her four sons to her side and left Sin standing alone. Isolated.
“You take a son of mine and I swear I’ll kill myself,” she had said.
His father, who had loved her with all his being, had offered no argument. And to this day, Braden could still see the horrified look on Sin’s face as he realized his father was about to betray him.
And why.
“Go ahead, old man,” Sin had snarled bravely, balling up his fists. “Send the mongrel bastard back to England while you coddle your Scottish whore.”
Their father had answered Sin’s angry words with a vicious backhand that had made the boy stagger. “No son of mine insults my wife.”
“Then I’m no son of yours.” His eyes filled with rage and loathing, Sin had straightened from the blow that had left blood trailing down his face.
Then, he had spat his blood at his father.
Their father had raked the blood off his face with his lips curled in disgust. “You’re nothing to me, boy,” he had said coldly.
The pain on Sin’s face at that moment was forever etched in Braden’s memory. “Tell me something, old man, that I didn’t already know.”
King David’s men had taken Sin then, and only Braden and his brothers had screamed out in protest.
His father had merely turned his back and called for their nurse to take them to their room.
Not once had his father looked back at Sin, or even mentioned his name. From that day forward, his father had lived as if Sin had never existed.
Braden had never forgiven his father for that.
And it had been on that day when his eldest brother had left that Braden had sworn never to fall in love. He’d never allow a woman to mean more to him than his own blood. Never turn his back on a son because of a woman’s vindictiveness.
It was for that reason alone he’d been careful over the years. Careful not to leave behind a child to suffer for his actions, for he knew of the nightmares Sin had lived through. And hell would surely freeze before Braden allowed a child of his to suffer in such a manner.
Maggie mumbled in her sleep.
Braden cuddled her closer. She was such a mystery to him. That she would traverse this path for the sake of her brothers and the lives of the clansmen spoke a lot for her.
And he found himself wondering what choice she would have made in his mother’s place. Would she have given up the child not hers, or would she have stood to defend all of them equally?
Och now, what does it matter?
Who wants the seriousness of a wife?
But deep in his heart, he knew there lived a tiny piece of himself that really did want a family. Maggie was right. He did love the fanciful tales bards sang of women who would defend their families with their lives. He wanted that dream. A dream of that one perfect soulmate who would never ask more of him than he could give. An unselfish woman who would never betray his trust or his love.
And to his immense shock, he found himself looking at Maggie and wondering if perhaps she could be the one...
You’re a fool, Braden MacAllister. And a damned one, at that.
Aye, he was. Already he’d allowed her to lead him off against his common sense on a fool’s errand that would most likely get them killed.
