“From the tile near the pool?” I ask.
He nods. “Scraped as much as I could. Still looking for the girls themselves—thought I’d stop by here before I head to the far wings so you could get to work.”
It isn’t what I came down here to do, but then again, it’s not like I’m actuallydoingwhat I came down here to do. And if Yuki or Grace coughed up this blood, it could certainly be another route to answers about the mutation.
“Thanks, Heath,” I say. “That was really thoughtful, thank you.”
He looks like he wants to say more, but no words actuallymake it out of his mouth. Things are definitely shifting between us—he’s never measured his words with me.
“Look,” I say, then pause. How do I call attention to the awkwardness without making it evenmoreawkward? “I just want to make sure everything’s okay. With us, I mean. I’m sorry about this afternoon, about not answering your call—”
“And I’m sorry about this morning,” he says.
“I told you not to apologize, remember?” I smile, trying for playful.
His smile is small and heavy, barely a smile at all. “No, seriously, Lindley,” he says, “I should have thought more about the timing. I don’t want you to have to worry about me on top of all the other things you have going on right now. I just thought”—he looks away, runs a hand through his hair—“I don’t know what I thought. I think you’re amazing, and I’m crazy impressed at how well you’re holding up under all the pressure.”
I half laugh, ready to protest, but his words keep coming. “It’s true,” he says, brightening. “Things would be falling apart here if you hadn’t stepped up and pulled us all together, is what I’m trying to say.” He glances down at his hands. “Last thing I want to do is stand in the way of that. Be a distraction, you know?”
Thingsarefalling apart, despite my best efforts, but I don’t say that. He’d just pile on more praise I don’t deserve. “I don’t want you to disappear on me, either, though,” I say. “Like, because you’re afraid of distracting me? I want you... I wantthings to be like they always have been.”
IthinkI want that? I don’t know. Until he kissed me this morning, I’d never considered that things with Heath couldbeany different than they’ve always been.
But it looks like I’ve said something wrong. His lips are a tight line now, and his eyes aren’t as bright. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, sure.” He glances at the clock, backs toward the door. “Should probably keep looking for the girls now. I’ll let you know if I find anything, okay? Good luck with the blood sample, hope it’s helpful—I’ll buzz you if there’s any more to test, or maybe have Haven buzz you, whatever.”
The door slides closed behind him, cutting off the end of his sentence.
“Um, goodbye?” I say to the door.
Add any more glass to the pile in my arms, I’ll be a bloody mess within days.
I adjust the pins in my hair, make sure everything is smooth and tight. It’s a lucky ritual of sorts, one I picked up from my mother years ago. Whereas hers was an unconscious habit, mine was born out of fascination, admiration. I loved her hairpins, for one. More than that, I wanted to be exactly like her.
Ironic, that it took losing her for me to follow in her steps.
I can almost hear her:LeeLee, she would say, if she were here,you’ve got a job to do.She was always going on about jobs, how they weren’t going to take care of themselves.Nothing holds the power to crush you unless you hand over that power.
So I take a deep breath.It’s just me and the microscopes, alone together in this pristine, empty room. I prepare another slide, the Grace/Yuki blood barely sufficient. And then I get to work.
17
HAZE AND FUZZ
WHEN THE RESULTS are in, the first thing I notice is the sample’s crisp clarity: this slide bears no resemblance to the haze and fuzz of Mila’s sample from this morning. I must have sleepwalked through that procedure, screwed something up along the way. This one is perfection.
Speaking of perfection, the second thing I notice: there’s no trace of an active virus at all. It’s reassuring, for sure, but not conclusive—just because Grace or Yuki haven’t contracted the mutation yet, it doesn’t mean they won’t.
My buzz screen lights up, not with a call this time, only a message from Leo:Heath found them.A second later, another message edges out the first:Alive.
It’s the first thing to go well all day, and the relief is physical. My eyes flutter closed, trapping tears that’ve sprung up out of nowhere. Heath found the girls. I want to know everything.
My finger hovers over the screen. I could call Heath directly for the details,would, on any other day. We’ve never had a day like today, though, so I find myself buzzing Leo instead.
“He found them?” I say. “Tell me everything.”
It isn’t lost on me that Heath didn’t call me, either.
“Yeah, hang on a sec,” Leo says, but then there’s a long pause, Haven’s voice in the background. “Sorry,” he says. “I’m in the middle of something”—a series of beeps tramples over his voice—“can I call you back in a few? Or just buzz Heath, it might be a while before I finish.”
