THE LIES THAT BLIND
HAVEN AND I are six months apart down to the minute. Heath is just a few minutes younger; Haven likes to remind us. I’m older than them both.
We’ve known each other since our mothers spoon-fed us SpaceLove puree packs.
We’ve traced so many circles in these endless station corridors, it’s hard to know which one of us is following the other’s footsteps. Sometimes it feels like I’m following her, even though I set off on the path first—between us, she’s the vibrant one, the magnetic one, the one everyone loves despite her strong stubborn streak. I’m the one with my nose in a book, with needles and scalpels and surgical tools in my hands. I’ve been told my tendency to be unfailingly direct makes people uncomfortable.
My chest is caving in.
I never saw her break. Maybe I never truly saw her at all.
64
HEART, PETRIFIED
HAVEN COULD BE anywhere.
The station is sprawling, deck upon deck of residential wings and common areas and labs, not to mention the hydro chamber and an entire host of energy banks tucked deeply out of sight. With everyone down in the safe room, every turn leads to yet another unsettlingly empty corridor. I’ve never seen a place so dead in my entire life.
Would she have gone to SSL, true to the excuse she gave Natalin? Or was that just a reason to leave? I keep quiet, step carefully. She could be around the next corner. She could be looking forme—or lying in wait. It seems unlikely that she’d go after Zesi; keeping him alive means keeping herself alive, given that he’s actively running defense against Vonn up in Control. Last Haven knew, though, I was in Control, too, not down on the hangar deck sending Leo and Heath out into the stars.
I need to warn Zesi. As soon as I find a place where I’m sure she won’t hear me, where there’s no chance my voice will carry, I’ll call. The second she knowsIknow she’s our killer—ourkiller—I still cannot even begin to reconcile it—I lose my advantage.
Every private place I can think of to make the call could put me at risk. Assuming she’s actively targeting me, no place of my own is safe. I imagine all the places she could be:
In Portside, tucked in between lifeless appliances at one of its many unused lab stations.
In Medical, guessing code after code in an attempt to unlock my stash of surgical tools.
In my home.
She has clearance to enter every single room because I trusted her. Itrustedher.
There is no perfect spot without risk: that place does not exist. An alcove lies just ahead—it’s a dead end, nowhere to hide if she discovers me. Nowhere to run. I doubt she’d use something so subtle as belladonna this time, not when confronted with someone who knows the truth. Also, a belladonna-laced beverage would be too easy for me to refuse.
When I reach the alcove, I dart inside and crouch down, cramming myself into a tight spot between a sofa and the window. I’m partially hidden this way, at least, and maybe the plush cushions of the sofa will deaden my voice. These steel walls are unforgiving.
I buzz Zesi, my hands more than a little unsteady. He answers immediately.
“You haven’t seen Haven, have you?” My voice is a low rasp,as quiet as I can make it without him having to guess at my words.
“Haven? No, why?” I hear blips and beeps in the background. Heath and Leo should meet Vonn’s firebirds soon, if they haven’t already. I try to suppress the anxiety I feel over... well, everything. Zesi would have buzzed me already if an attack had flared up. Right?
I shake my head, try to clear it. Focus on what you cancontrol, Lindley.
“Do notlet Haven into Control under any circumstances, okay? Change the passcode if you have to, do whatever it takes—I’m pretty sure she’s our killer, Zesi.”
He mutters a curse. Leaves it at that.
“My thoughts exactly.” It’s a relief to have told someone, and it’s also terrible: saying it out loud makes it feel real. I wish it weren’t real. “If you have a second”—I’m pushing it, but I’ve gone undiscovered this long, might as well see if he can help—“let me know if you see anything off on the vid-feeds from SSL?”
He doesn’t say a word, but I hear him shifting and clicking buttons. “I don’t seeher... only thing I see is a tablet out on the main countertop, and a drawer left half open. Helpful?”
I nod, my throat constricting. It’s confirmation enough that she’s been to SSL tonight, that she’s likelystillthere. “Yeah,” I force out. Scraaaape goes the knife against my increasingly stony heart.
A faint string of beeps goes off; I wish I knew the radar well enough to decode their meaning. “I—I’ve gotta go,” he says, an urgency to his voice that wasn’t there before.
“Everything okay?” On instinct, I glance out the window beside me. I can’t see a thing from here. “What’s happening?”
