Irene’s concern shows in every glance. Zane and Porter circle me cautiously, staying in town far longer than I would have thought, trying to draw me out, but their words nudge at me uselessly.
There’s nothing left to get through to.
Before Levi, I was alone because Ichoseto be. It was self-inflicted. A precaution against the ache of attachment. I lived in the in-between, untouched by the messy human entanglements of love and loss.
But now?
Now I know what it feels like to be seen.
To wake up to warm skin and vibrant color and soft laughter and tangles in my sheets. What it means to belong to someone.
And I can’t unknow it.
I brace my hands against the cool metal of the prep table, breath unsteady. I should be working. I should be focusing. But my hands shake, my entire body tense, and for the first time in my existence, I have absolutely nothing to tether me.
No fight with the Fates.
No alleged loophole.
No Levi.
Even my shadows have abandoned me, as if they preferred him, too. Once restless extensions of my body and soul, curling along walls. Now, they barely reach for me.
Faint smudges at my feet, nothing more than an afterthought. Like they barely exist.
Even the spirits have gone quiet. No souls waiting for closure, no whispers in corners, no fleeting glances.
It feels like I’ve been voted out of another life.
Again.
Like I don’t belonganywhere.
“Fuck, Hayden. You’re barely even here.” Zane stands in the doorway, arms crossed, expression pinched like he’s been watching too long.
I exhale sharply. “What do you want?”
He sighs, stepping farther into the room, worry deepening the lines around his eyes. He looks painfully mortal. “You look like absolute hell.”
I huff a humorless laugh and run a hand through my hair. “How observant of you.”
Zane doesn’t smile.
“You’re shutting down,” he says simply.
I don’t respond.
“Angry, I know what to do with,” he says, leaning against the counter, voice quieter now. “This? I don’t. I’ve seen you at rockbottom before. Back when the Act first went into effect and you were filled with all that anger. At us. At me.” He tilts his head. “But, Hayden…this scares me even more.”
I stiffen.
Zane rubs a hand over his jaw. “Porter and I are sticking around a little longer. You know where to find us.” He pushes off the counter. “But you need to decide if this is how your story ends, little brother.”
I nod mechanically, unable to feel anything beyond the hollowed-out ache in my chest.
Zane hesitates like he wants to say more, then shakes his head and leaves. I stare at the doorway long after he’s gone. Silence settles in again, colder this time. In my reflection in the stainless-steel cabinets, grief lines etched so deep, I wonder if this shattered stranger is all that remains.
• • •
