Of pretending I haven’t been missing this for what feels like an eternity.
Porter pulls me to his chest, crushing any remaining distance. “I meant what I said, little brother,” he whispers. “You don’t need the past. Because from where I’m standing, you’ve found something far better. Someone worth staying for.” He squeezes tighter, lowering his voice. “That’s rarer than immortality, Hayden. Don’t run from it.”
We stand like this for a moment, two brothers locked in an embrace.
Eventually, he slips out, leaving the room suddenly emptier.
And I sit in that quietness, trying desperately, and failing, to drown out the undeniable truth in every word he said.
• • •
Irene sets asteaming mug in front of me firmly, the porcelain clinking against the wood. “Drink.”
I don’t have it in me to argue. I lift the cup and sip slowly, letting the warmth seep into my bones even if the taste doesn’t quite register. Irene sits across from me, her hands folded neatly in her lap.
Then, in true Irene fashion, she goes straight for the jugular.
“So,” she says, “have you spoken to him yet?”
I don’t need to ask who she means. I set the cup down, watching the tea bag drift. “No.”
She nods, like she expected that. “And does he know why?”
“I’ve tried,” I admit, throat tight. “Calls, messages…nothing. He told me to figure out what I want.”
Irene raises a brow. “And?”
I look down at my hands.
I’ve spent centuries defining myself by what I lost, what I wanted to reclaim…only to realize that I might have already found something better and let it walk away.
I miss him. So much it aches.
But I don’t say any of that, just shake my head instead.
Irene sips her tea. “You’re being a fool, Hayden.”
I huff. “Thanks for that insight.”
She leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “You’re brilliant…one of the sharpest minds I’ve ever known. But astonishingly stubborn when it comes to your heart.”
I stay quiet.
“I don’t pretend to know everything that goes on with you,” she says. “We’ve respected each other’s privacy. Built somethingthat works precisely because we don’t intrude. But sometimes, distance isn’t a kindness. It’s avoidance. And it would appear you’ve finally found what you’ve been searching for…and you’re letting it slip away.”
I clench my jaw.
Her expression softens. “Whatever war you’ve been waging with yourself, you need to decide if holding on to the past is worth losing the only future that’s ever made you truly happy.”
My stomach twists.
Irene stands, smoothing her hands over her already smooth hair. “You don’t have to decide tonight,” she says, squeezing my shoulder lovingly before she heads for the door. “But I suspect you already know your decision…even if you’re afraid to face it.”
• • •
I don’t sleepanymore.
Not since I pushed Levi away. Not since the memory of him leaving became a permanent ache behind my ribs. Not since he said,You need to figure out what you want. I’ve been drowning in those words ever since.
