“Why can’t I be?”
“Because there’s no way that I’ve spent the last six weeks telling you how shitty you were at your job while simultaneously bragging about how incredible the Iron Viper is. It makes no sense. He’s practically been my idol for years. Every move I’ve made has been in his footsteps, constantly pushing myself to his level. Plus, I would know if I’d spent the last six weeks fucking my idol. And no,” she says, her voice hitching slightly higher as though having some kind of mental breakthrough. “When I first mentioned him, you said you didn’t even know if he existed. You said he was practically a ghost.”
I just grin as all the pieces fall into place. She’s likely thinking overthese past few weeks, replaying the impossible signature Iron Viper shots she’s witnessed firsthand, the control and discipline, and the skills that only assassins of a certain caliber could possibly possess. Hell, there’s only a small handful of us who are capable of reaching these heights, and Kiara is right there with us.
“Holy shit,” she breathes once again, her gaze not moving from mine. “You’re the Iron Viper.”
I nod, and as if just deciding that she’s okay with that, she starts crawling back in beside me in a daze. And honestly, it’s nice not to be the one dumbfounded for a change.
Even after getting the confirmation she needed, she still silently shakes her head, still replaying every moment over and over, trying to figure out how she could have missed it when all of those clues had been staring her in the face the whole damn time.
“Well, fuck,” she finally says, her normal tone beginning to return. She’s quiet again, but only for another moment when she glances up at me. “Do you know who I am?”
I nod. “I have a good idea.”
Her gaze narrows, suspicion tightening her features as if I’ve laid a trap at her feet. But it’s not needed, and she should know that. “There’s only one woman whose name is whispered among agencies as the best, the one who makes impossible hits, who wields a blade as though it were part of her being. The only one with the stamina and motivation to possibly knock the Iron Viper off his pedestal, and after watching you in action these past few weeks, it’s obvious to me. You’rethe Crimson Blade, Kiara.”
She bites down on her lower lip, her cheeks flushing as if suddenly shy. “Yeah,” she says. “I am.”
I nod, a seriousness settling between us. “You and me,” I start. “It’s not just a matter of us being a threat. We’re the best this industry has to offer. Together, we’re not a threat, we’re a nuclear bomb. Even if you decide to walk away, if anybody even got an inkling that we know each other, we’re as good as dead. They will never stop coming for us.”
She nods, tears welling in her eyes once again. “We have to end this, don’t we?”
My chest aches as I hold on to the only woman I’d ever give it all up for, and when I pull on her waist, she automatically sits up, crawling onto my lap to face me directly, knowing that what’s about to be said is something that will directly impact the rest of our lives.
Exhaling slowly, I consider every word like it’s a stray bullet in the night, anticipating its impact as my hands rest on her warm thighs. “I am selfish enough to never let you go,” I tell her, making sure she truly hears me, even though I know, deep down, she’s not ready to hear these words. “Don’t mistake that. No matter what happens, always know that if you decide that you want this, I will keep you forever. I want a life with you, Kiara. All of it. The craziness. The fights. The raw fucking on the kitchen counter. If the choice were mine, I wouldn’t have the strength to walk away.”
Kiara holds my stare, her eyes welling with unshed tears, knowingmore is coming. “But?” she pushes, determined to break her own heart.
“But you will always come first. Your safety. Your life. Your happiness. I will never put you in a position where having a life with me means cutting your life short, because that’s the reality for us. You said it yourself—we are compromised. And it’s not a question of if we were caught, it’s when. So despite everything I want with you, despite my selfishness, I have to walk away because it’s what’s best for you. If you chose different, if you decided to risk it all, then I would drop to my knees and be yours until the fucking cavalry came and stole the life right out of my chest. Even after that, in whatever exists beyond this world, I would still be yours.”
CHAPTER 22
KIARA
Waking slowly in Raiden’s hospital bed, still warm and wrapped in sheets that hold the faint smell of him, I lie quietly, my heart heavy as I remain consumed by the aftermath of our conversation. I replayed his words over and over until the exhaustion finally took me.
He told me he was selfish enough to never let me go. That he wanted it all. The fights and the craziness, right down to the raw fucking on the counter. He said he didn’t have the strength to walk away, and yet our conversation felt like nothing more than a gut-wrenching goodbye. Because he also said he’d never put me in a position where loving him meant danger. That if it ever came down to it, he’d be the one to walk away.
It didn’t feel like a threat last night, but as my fingers skim acrossthe cold, lonely mattress, and the truth settles heavily in my chest, I understand what it really was: a promise.
A promise that I would always come first. No matter the cost. No matter what it did to him. Even if keeping me safe meant walking away and breaking his own heart in the process.
And the worst part? He did it without hesitation. He didn’t even say goodbye, just slipped out in the night while I slept, and that right there is what’s twisting the knife. Deep and raw. I could feel it coming. The way he held me. The way his voice went steady and quiet. The way he looked at me was like he’d already made a decision. But he told me the decision would be mine. That if I decided to risk it all, then he would drop to his knees and be mine.
He didn’t care what he had to risk. So where the hell is he now?
Fuck. I know that I don’t know what I want, that I’ve not even been willing to admit that there was something more between us, but I never expected it to feel like this.
These past six weeks, I’ve done nothing but tell him how much I hated him, joked about taking him out, and that I wished he’d never moved in next door. But now that the idea of never seeing him again is settling in my chest, it doesn’t just hurt, it fucking aches.
He decided for both of us, but he doesn’t get to do that. If he thinks walking away is some delusional attempt at protecting me, then he doesn’t understand who the hell I am.
The sudden sound of the hospital curtain being torn back pulls me out of my inner turmoil, and as my gaze snaps toward the newcomer,I find Katie striding through Raiden’s partitioned area in the massive shared room.
She gives me a hard stare at finding me in the wrong bed, and I immediately cringe, not understanding why her disapproval affects me so much. Yet here we are.
Katie doesn’t say anything, just moves around the room and discreetly glides her hand toward my bed, silently telling me to get my ass back over to my side, and as I let out a heavy sigh and glance down at the empty space beside me, the deepest agony rips through my chest.
