“Hanging out with the girls and hanging out with you are two different things.”
“Why?” I ask and wait for her to work it all out in her head. When she says nothing I push her because I know it’s the only way I will get her to give me the truth. “You know why. You’re just too afraid to say it out loud.”
“I’m not afraid.” She glares at me.
“You seem scared to me.”
“I’ve told you this before, I’m not a relationship girl. If you want me to be honest since you think you know me so well, I prefer to get want I want from the guy and then him to move on. I don’t need all the sweet, Aaron.”
“Good thing I’m not sweet then.” I know how to treat a lady, that shit has been pumped into my head from the start. But with Kendall I have to play things differently. She is like a scared kitten, from what I don’t know. But what I do know is I have to move at her pace.
“I don’t want to ever get so comfortable in life that I forget what true unpredictable fun is. I don’t want to fall into some rut where I am playing house and becoming someone I’m not. I don’t want to wake up five years from now and regret my life.”
“But you want to ignore anything good, because you’re too afraid to love it and you are too afraid to let anyone in. Anyone besides the girls that is.”
She doesn’t respond.
“What happened to make you feel like you don’t deserve good?”
“I think maybe tonight was a mistake.” She stands and starts to move past me and I grab her leg spinning her around to face me.
“You don’t want to tell me fine, but don’t judge me based off someone else’s actions. You know me, even though you like to pretend you don’t. We’ve been friends for years. So why do things have to be different?”
“Why? Because friends don’t have sex with each other.”
“We aren’t having sex.” I shrug and the corner of her mouth tips up in a grin. “I mean we can, any time you want to.” His smile widens. “I’m just saying we don’t have to. I didn’t come over with the intention of getting you naked. Though you do look really good naked.”
“Pig.” She laughs, slapping at my hands. When she gets free she starts toward the counter, grabs a beer, and then pauses at the slider doors. “I’m going outside to start a fire.” And with that she opens the door and slips outside.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Kendall
The flames flickerand I look up across the fire pit to see Aaron laying in the hammock, one arm thrown up over his eyes and his chest rising and falling. He fell asleep long ago and the quiet settled in.
He’s right, this does feel almost natural, though I want to fight it.
I can’t see myself ever fully trusting a man again. Outside of my father, I question their loyalty. I see all the ways they could hurt me if I was to let my guard down. I stay two steps ahead, or at least I try.
“I feel you watching me,” he says without moving his arm or opening his eyes.
“Just wondering how the hell you are managing to stay on that thing when you are six foot something and your lower half is hanging off the end.”
“Six three,” he says and I see the hint of a smile. “And it’s only my feet hanging off the end.”
Aaron is a very attractive man. Tall, gorgeous smile, sandy blond hair, blue eyes, and the perfect tan from working the job site day after day. His arms show sure signs of manual labor and those abs, they are really nice too.
I feel my body reacting to him, kicked back so relaxed in my backyard. I don’t want to feel like I could do this exact thing every single night and be completely happy with it.
“I can hear those gears turning in your head.”
“Shut up.” I toss my beer can at him and hit his elbow. He chuckles but stays where he is. Tonight was nice, I’ll admit that to only myself. After the initial attitude I threw his way, we fell into a happy medium. Laughs by the fire, him sharing stories about some of the guys on the job, me about the guys I work with. We hit a calm that I could handle. I stopped letting myself overthink it all.
It’s a little after eleven and we’ve had a few beers each. He finally sits up and runs his fingers through his hair and down his face. “I guess I should get going.”
“You’ve had too many to drive,” I say before I have the chance to stop myself. I look up to find him watching me. “I’m just saying that there is a perfectly good couch inside. It’s not too awful on comfort.”
He holds my stare.
