Anticipation shivered down my spine. “Yes,” I whispered, reaching for his belt buckle. “That’s what I want.”
“Hell.” He trapped my hands in his, stopping me from getting what I wanted, and groaned. “I need a second.” His forehead dropped to mine. His chest brushed mine as his breath sawed in and out. “Now I know how Galadriel felt when she didn’t accept the ring from Frodo.”
It took a moment for my lust-dazed brain to understand what was happening. Jeremiah was turning me down. Heat scorched my cheeks as I reeled back, wrenching my hands from his.Not so shameless after all, Miss High and Mighty, my mother’s voice cackled in my head.
“Sorry. Oh, god, I’m so sorry. I thought—I mean, you said you wanted—” I stumbled backward, tripping over my own feet.
He reached for me, thought better of it, and gripped the edge of the dresser behind him so hard that his knuckles turned white. “Idowant. Fuck, honey, I want so badly that my balls are a permanent shade of blue. Butwe’re at the end of a very long day. You’ve had one and a half panic attacks, found out your stalker lured you here, yelled at me not even two hours ago, and threatened to run away to a nunnery. You need food. You need a hot shower. You need rest.”
“But Iwantyour dick,” I shot back.
He gave me one heated, hungry look that turned my insides molten before squeezing his eyes shut with a shake of his head. “If you still want my dick tomorrow, it’s yours.”
I studied him, baffled. He was really saying no to a blowjob out of concern for my physical and emotional well-being? Was that something men were even capable of? Heaving a sigh, I pressed a kiss to his cheek. Every muscle in his body strung taut in response, like it took everything he had to hold himself back.
“What did I tell you?” I whispered in his ear. “Annoyingly good.”
22
JEREMIAH
By the timewe had showered, eaten dinner, and gone back upstairs to our respective rooms, I was exhausted down to my bones. But that didn’t stop me from lying awake, imagining exactly what Lennon’s mouth would have felt like if I had said yes.
With a groan, I threw back the covers and rolled out of bed. I pulled on a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and tugged a T-shirt over my head, shoved my feet into the L.L. Bean slippers Hannah had given me for Christmas four years ago, and padded down to the library. Maybe I could lull myself to sleep with a book.
The library had been Hannah’s idea. No surprise there, since my little sister was a librarian. It had startedsmall, just for her personal use, but as we noticed more guests searching for something to quiet their minds, I built it out. Now we had a bit of everything. Hannah’s beloved romance novels took up several shelves, but we also had every genre of fiction imaginable, plus biographies, histories, and poetry.
Poetry was my preference before sleep, since I could start or stop whenever I felt like it. I didn’t have to wait until the end of a chapter or even the end of a sentence. The rhythm of it relaxed my brain. I grabbed Mary Oliver and settled into the red wingback chair, kicking my feet up on the ottoman.
Not ten minutes later, the door creaked open. One of the guests, probably. The dining hall was closed, but the library and game room were open. Insomnia was pretty common here. I craned my neck around the wing of the chair.
Lennon.
Wearing nothing but those fucking tiny shorts and tank top. Fuckinggreat. I had just talked my dick down, and now I was rock hard again. Her sleep attire was going to be the death of me.
She froze when she saw me sitting there. Her tongue darted out to nervously lick her lips, and that made everything worse.
“You’re supposed to be asleep,” I ground out.
“You’resupposed to be asleep,” she retorted.
She sashayed right by me, and I turned my head totrack her to the built-in bookcases that lined the wall. A mistake, because it meant I got a glimpse of the curve of her ass with every step she took.
“What are you looking for? I’ll help you find it, and you can take it back to your room.”
She cocked an eyebrow at me over her shoulder. “Eager to get rid of me, caveman?”
“Yes, Lennon. That’s exactly what I’m doing.” I dragged a hand through my hair and tugged. “I’m tryingnotto be a caveman. I deserve a sainthood for not throwing you over my shoulder and dragging you to my bed the second I saw you in those fucking shorts.”
“Sorry.” She squatted to get a look at the bottom shelf, and her shorts disappeared into her ass crack.
Fuck.Me.
I bit my knuckles to smother my groan.
Straightening, she pivoted on her slippered toes to face me. Her head tilted sideways as she studied me. “Do you like breasts, Jeremiah?”
“Do I…” My gaze dipped without my permission. No bra. Peaked nipples. Fucking hell. My mouth went dry with thirst. I couldn’t push any words past it.
