34
Lou lay in bed the next morning, watching the steady rise and fall of Aidan’s chest as he slept, the tiny fluttering of his eyes behind his closed lids, the sweep of his long lashes resting on his face, simultaneously longing for and dreading the moment he’d wake up and they’d be here together again, in this bed. She didn’t know how to cope with what had happened last night, or with how she felt about it now. It was all so new and unexpected, and a little unnerving. She was restless and anxious, jittery with a mixture of fear and excitement.
Finally she could bear it no longer. She had to get up, move… get away. She pushed back the cover gently and crept out of bed. She pulled on her underwear and jeans, threw on a sweatshirt, not even bothering with a bra, needing to get out before Aidan woke up. She pushed her feet into boots and darted from the room. She stole down the stairs and out through the front door, closing the door gently so as not to make any noise.
Then she was outside, in the cool morning air, a gentle breeze coming off the sea. She hugged her arms around herself as she breathed in the salty air. Dawn was breaking, the sun just hovering on the horizon, casting a shimmering golden pathacross the water. Never had a morning felt so new, so fresh, so full of possibilities that at once excited and scared her. She took big gulps of air, trying to calm herself. She was confused to find tears spilling from her eyes, but helpless to stop them.
‘Lou?’
She whipped around to find Aidan walking towards her tentatively, the way one might approach a skittish horse – which didn’t feel entirely unwarranted given how she was behaving this morning.
‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ His forehead creased in concern as he realised she was crying.
‘Come here.’ He quickened his steps, opening his arms, but then he hesitated, checking himself. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have…’ He dropped his arms and stood rooted to the spot, a look of utter confusion etched on his features. ‘We should never have – I meanIshouldn’t have?—’
She gasped in horror as she realised what he was thinking. ‘If you’re going to go back to acting like some lord of the manor who’s taken advantage of the scullery maid, I’m going to have to knee you in the balls.’
Aidan gave a shout of surprised laughter, dispelling the tension between them, and Lou couldn’t help smiling.
‘Said no scullery maid ever.’
‘Sorry, I meant I’m going to have to knee you in the balls,sir.’ She bobbed a curtsey and now they were grinning at each other as Aidan came closer, while Lou swiped the tears from her face.
‘That’s better. But this scullery maid scenario is never going to work with you talking like that. You’re going to have to show me more respect.’
Lou was laughing as Aidan reached her, but then the laughter caught and turned to tears. When he opened his arms hesitantly, she walked into them and pressed her face against the solid wallof his chest to show him that she wanted this closeness. She breathed a contented sigh as he wrapped her in a hug.
‘You’re shaking,’ he said, and Lou realised she was. ‘Are you cold?’ He tightened his arms around her.
‘No, I’m fine.’
‘You don’t… regret last night? You’re freaking me out here.’
She shook her head. ‘No. Last night was…’Beautiful.It was the first word that came into her head, but she couldn’t say that. It sounded like something from a corny romance novel, not the sort of thing you could say in real life. ‘Amazing,’ she finished, though it didn’t seem adequate.
‘What’s all this about, then?’ He tucked his chin to look down at her, brushing away a tear with one finger.
‘I don’t know really. I was just feeling… overwhelmed. Last night was… a lot.’
‘Yeah, for me too.’
‘I’m just not used to it being like that.’ It was the tenderness that she hadn’t been expecting – the way he’d looked into her eyes and held her hand as he moved inside her; how he’d kissed every inch of her skin so softly, as if he knew every atom of her being needed kissing better; how when he’d flipped her over it wasn’t so he could do something filthy, but because he needed to cover along her spine and all the way down to her toes in those butterfly kisses that set every nerve ending tingling. When he’d whispered in her ear, the words weren’t porny, but sweet. She’d never felt so vulnerable and so safe all at the same time.
Lou’s stomach rumbled and they laughed, lightening the moment.
‘I think it’s time we fed you. Breakfast?’
‘Yeah. I’m starving.’
‘Me too.’ He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. ‘Come on, let’s go inside.’
‘So, what would you like?’ Aidan asked, opening the fridge.
‘What do you usually make women who sleep over?’ Lou slid onto a stool at the island.
Aidan grinned. ‘There haven’t been as many as you might think.’
‘I haven’t been thinking about it,’ Lou lied. Since she’d woken up this morning she’d thought about it a lot, wondering if this was a regular occurrence for him, wondering what this was. ‘But I’m surprised. I’ve heard you’re the hottest, most-wanted bachelor around here.’
