4
One month later, on a sunny Friday in August, Lou did a final sweep of the little flat in Dublin city centre where she and Jack had lived since he was born, checking under the pieces of crappy furniture they were leaving behind, opening the drawers and cupboards in the kitchen units. When she was sure there was nothing she was forgetting, she went over to the window and looked out at the familiar view one last time – the block of red-brick council flats across the street mirroring theirs.
She wasn’t usually sentimental about this type of thing, and there was little here she’d miss, apart from the people, but these were the rooms where she’d rocked Jack to sleep, where she’d paced the floor while he cried when he had colic. He’d taken his first steps here, holding onto the rickety sofa to pull himself up when he’d stood for the first time. It was where he’d grown up and lived his whole life – the only home he’d ever known.
They’d had some dodgy neighbours over the years. The sounds of shouting and banging had punctuated her sleep when the couple next door were having one of their epic rows and she’d been woken more than once by the wail of sirens when some kids on the street had prompted a visit from the police.
But there’d been great people too – people she could always call on for baby advice or a small loan to see her to the end of the week when she was skint; neighbours you could rely on to help you out any way they could, even though they didn’t have much themselves. And there were friends like Karen. She looked down to the street where Karen was waiting with Jack in the van she’d borrowed from her brother to help Lou move. They’d loaded it up last night and she’d stayed over so they could make an early start on the long drive to Dingle. Jack looked up and saw her and she waved.
She’d been confident that she was doing the right thing, moving them to Dingle, but now that the moment was here, she couldn’t help feeling wobbly and questioning her decision. It felt so momentous, like she was burning all her bridges and taking a great leap into the unknown.
But there was no going back now, and she couldn’t make Karen wait any longer.
‘You’re off then.’ Rita Bolger, her neighbour across the hall opened her door as Lou turned the key in the lock.
‘Yeah.’ She turned to the elderly lady, who had opened her arms wide, and stepped into her hug.
‘Well, good luck with everything. I hope you’ll be very happy in Dingle.’
‘Thanks.’ Lou sniffed, brushing a tear from her eye. ‘I hope so.’
‘Of course you will,’ Rita said staunchly. ‘And it’ll be great for Jack – all that fresh air and room to run around.’ She reached out and rubbed Lou’s arm. ‘You’re doing the right thing, getting him out of this place.’
Lou nodded gratefully, her throat suddenly clogged with tears. What was wrong with her today?
‘We’ll miss you around here, though.’
‘I’ll miss you too. Thanks for everything, Rita.’ She clasped the woman’s hand tightly, trying to express everything she couldn’t put into words.
‘Keep in touch,’ Rita said as Lou turned to go. ‘Let me know how you’re getting on.’
‘I will.’
‘Sorry about that,’ she said to Karen as she fastened her seat belt. ‘I was saying goodbye to Rita.’
‘No bother.’ Karen pulled away from the kerb.
‘You okay there, kiddo?’ Lou twisted in her seat to look back at Jack.
He looked up briefly from his Nintendo and nodded, then went back to his game.
‘I’m going to miss it here,’ she said in a low voice to Karen as they drove away from the neighbourhood.
‘This shithole?’
Lou shrugged. ‘Yeah, I know. But we had good neighbours. Good friends.’ She smiled at Karen. They’d met when Lou had been working in the canteen of the hospital where Karen was a nurse manager. Strong, energetic and always ready to muck in, Karen worked hard and partied harder. She and Lou had hit it off right away and they’d been firm friends ever since. It was the best thing to come out of that job and Lou was going to miss her friend desperately.
‘I know. But you’re doing the right thing. For every Rita Bolger or me there are ten scumbags selling drugs and recruiting kids into gangs. You don’t want that for Jack.’
‘Yeah, you’re right.’ She smiled, grateful to her friend for the reassurance. She’d still woken sometimes over the past monthin a panic, wondering if she was making a huge mistake – if she could call the whole thing off, put the cottage in Dingle on the market and see what they could get in Dublin for whatever it’d fetch. But she tried to console herself that it was just nerves because it was such a big change. It had felt so right when they’d been in Dingle and once she was back there she’d feel the same way again… hopefully.
‘I’m going to miss you so much, though,’ she said to Karen. ‘Fancy moving to Kerry?’
‘Nah.’ Karen glanced at her as she navigated a turn. ‘I’m a diehard Dublin girl, for better or worse.’
Lou was a bit worried that she was too. ‘Well, if you ever feel like a free holiday…’
‘I’ll definitely take you up on that!’
