That woke Ken up. He lifted his head from Kate’s shoulder and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. ‘Poor you! Do you want me to go?’ he asked, jerking a thumb in the direction of the door. ‘Leave you alone with Freddie?’
‘Oh no, you have to stay,’ Freddie told him. ‘Ken is great at this sort of thing,’ he informed Kate.
‘What do you mean, “this sort of thing”? Just how many cases offellatio interruptushas he had to deal with?’
‘You’d be surprised,’ Ken said drily. ‘But, seriously, I’d be happy to help. So – take it from the top,’ he said, turning to face her and leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped, businesslike.
Another Mr Fix-It from the same stable as Conor, Kate thought, her heart sinking. Trust Helen to have ferreted him out. ‘Well,’ she began reluctantly, ‘Will had just found out that his father had died, and he was really upset?—’
‘So you thought a blow job would be just the thing to cheer him up,’ Ken finished.
‘Well, not exactly. I mean, it’s not as if I said, “Sorry for your loss,” and dropped to my knees right away.’
‘Becausethatwould have been inappropriate,’ Freddie said.
‘It just sort of happened,’ Kate continued, ignoring him. ‘It was more… organic. It just seemed… right somehow.’
‘Really?’ Freddie screwed up his face in disbelief.
‘Well, I didn’t want him, you know, worrying about me… you know, about…’ Kate struggled to explain. ‘It’s like risotto,’ she said finally.
‘Risotto?’ It was Ken’s turn to look bewildered. ‘Why risotto?’
‘It’s the ultimate comfort food. Think about it. It’s totally effortless to eat, the cook does all the work – you hardly even have to chew. It’s practically pre-digested, for Christ’s sake.’
‘Oh right.’ Ken nodded. ‘So you’re saying a blow job is the risotto of sex?’
‘Well… yes.’
‘Okay, so there you were, feeding Will his organic risotto. What happened then?’
‘Tina appeared and started screaming her head off. Willshoved me away, and the next thing I knew I was on my arse on the floor and Tina was going for me bald-headed.’
‘You were bitch-slapped by Tina?’ Freddie said excitedly. ‘God, I wish I’d been there.’
‘Hang on a sec.’ Ken made a halting gesture with his hands. ‘Back up. Whereexactlywere you when Tina came in?’
‘I was in the middle of… I was sort of, um…’ Kate faltered. Why did Ken have to have all the gory details anyway? she thought crossly. She tried again. ‘I was kind of?—’
‘In prayer position?’ Freddie supplied.
‘Yes.’ She blushed.
‘Worshipping at the Altar of Dong?’ he elaborated gleefully.
‘Yes,’ Kate mumbled.
‘Okay, Freddie, I think we get the picture,’ Ken broke in. ‘So you were in the act when Tina came in screaming her head off?’
‘Yes. I heard her before I saw her. For a second I thought it was Will, you know… um, having a good time.’
‘Kate, Kate, Kate.’ Ken laughed, shaking his head. ‘Of coursehe pushed you away.’
‘Yes, but it was the way he did it. It was so… instinctive.’
‘Bet your arse it was! It’s called the survival instinct.’
‘What do you mean?’
