‘Kate, you had his dick in your mouth and you got a fright. The poor guy was probably afraid you were going to give him an oral castration.’
‘Oh!’ Kate breathed. ‘Do you really think that could have been it?’
‘Of course it was, you idiot!’ Freddie ruffled her hair affectionately. ‘I told you Ken was good at this sort of thing.’
‘Just promise me one thing, Kate,’ Ken said.
‘What’s that?’
‘That you’ll never go in for bereavement counselling.’
‘Yeah,’ Freddie said, ‘and when you go to greet the mourners at the end of a funeral, youshake their hand.’
‘Ha, ha, very funny.’ But she was so happy with this new slant on things that she didn’t mind them taking the piss.
Ken stood up, stretching extravagantly. ‘Look, I don’t know about anyone else, but I need some breakfast. I’ll go out for the croissants and you guys get the coffee on. Then we’ll put our heads together and figure out your next move,’ he said to Kate.
‘Okay,’ Kate jumped up, ‘and I’m going to make muffins too. I’m starving.’
* * *
Later, the coffee table laden with warm, freshly baked muffins, flaky croissants, several kinds of jam, a jug of orange juice and a pot of strong, fragrant coffee, Kate felt a lot brighter.
‘What’s your next move?’ Ken asked, licking jammy croissant crumbs off his thumb.
‘Well,’ Kate said consideringly, ‘I might eat my own weight in chocolate.’
‘That’s no good.’ Ken shook his head. ‘You’ve got to get back in there and consolidate your advantage.’
‘What advantage? I jumped Will when he was at a low ebb and got bitch-slapped by his girlfriend for my trouble. How do I improve on that?’
‘Don’t be so negative,’ Freddie said. ‘Ken’s right. You’ve got to get back in the game – let Will know there’s plenty more where that blow job came from.’
‘But what if he doesn’t wantmore?’
‘Why wouldn’t he?’ Ken asked. ‘Are you, like… not so hot at the old sword-swallowing?’
‘Please! It’s my best thing,’ Kate said indignantly.
Ken bit into a muffin. ‘God, Kate,theseare your best thing. I take it all back. Stay here with us and cook our breakfast every morning.’
Kate smiled. ‘All I mean is, what if it was just the heat of the moment and he doesn’t really fancy me in the cold light of day?’
‘You didn’t give the poor guy a chance. You just pegged it out the door before he even had a chance to reholster his weapon, from what I can gather,’ Ken said.
‘And what about Tina? She’ll tear me to pieces if she ever sees me again.’
‘I’m sure you’ve got a few moves of your own.’ Ken offered.
‘You’ve got to stop being so spineless,’ Freddie added, trying to sound stern. ‘Ooh, this is so cool,’ he squealed excitedly, spoiling the effect. ‘I feel like the head nun inThe Sound of Music, telling Maria to get back and nail the Captain before the Baroness gets her mitts on him.’
‘I don’t think that’squitewhat the Mother Superior was advocating,’ Ken said.
Freddie ignored him. ‘I could gaze out of the window and sing “Climb Every Mountain”, if you think it would help,’ he said eagerly.
‘I don’t.’
‘On the contrary.’ Ken smiled. ‘It would be just the thing to send you haring back to Italy as fast as your legs would carry you.’
