‘Yeah, it’s true,’ he said quietly, meeting her eyes now, almost defiantly. He looked down, flicking an imaginary speck of ash off his jeans. ‘I love you,’ he said, his gaze direct and unflinching again. ‘I’m in love with you – have been for ages,’ he said, with a crooked smile, as though he was telling her something funny.
‘Since when?’ Louise asked.
‘D’you remember that day coming up to Christmas when we all met at Will’s house? It was bucketing down outside. You had this red bandana-type thing over your hair and you were wearing those red suede boots.’ He remembered how dazzled he had been by the gorgeous sparkly eyed, long-limbed girl, and how many light years out of his reach she had seemed. ‘You bought me some cigarettes,’ he said softly, smiling at her. ‘Remember that?’
She was surprised Rory remembered the cigarettes. While they had been talking she had noticed him reach into his pocket for a cigarette only to find the packet empty. When she had told him there was a shop on the corner if he wanted to get more, he had said it was too wet out and he wouldn’t bother; but Louise had seen the resignation in his eyes and had guessed that he didn’t have any money and was too proud to say so. Pretending she used to smoke the same brand and might have some left, she had gone out on the pretext of looking for them in her car, and had then snuck to the shops and bought some, removing the cellophane and even taking out a couple for extra authenticity.
‘You knew?’ she said softly. ‘You knew I bought them?’
Rory smiled affectionately at her, the lines around his eyes crinkling. ‘Yeah, I knew. I think that was what did it for me.’ He took a last drag on his cigarette, tilting his head to blow the smoke skywards, then stubbed it out on the edge of the bench, taking his time, his movements careful.
‘But that was…’ Louise faltered. ‘…that was the first day I met you.’
It was the first day she had met all of the band. Still in the process of trying to lure her away from a well-paid job in marketing to go and work for him, Will had taken her to see them play a small gig the night before in an attempt at convincing her.And she had been convinced. The gig wasn’t well attended, and the band were unpolished, raw and awkward, with more passion than accomplishment. But they had an energy and charisma that was breathtaking, and from that night on, she understood Will’s enthusiasm for his pet project and knew she wanted to be a part of it.
She hadn’t hung around after the gig because she’d had a date – funny, she thought, she couldn’t remember now who with. The next day she had met the band at Will’s house and they had embarked on the great adventure that was Walking Wounded. It had been the day that her life, as she now knew it, had begun.
She remembered Rory that first day, and how moved she had been by him. She was instantly drawn to his air of quiet authority, his stoicism and dependability. He had been so calm and still, in contrast to Phoenix’s wired ramblings, Georgie’s nervy fidgeting and Owen’s hopped-up garrulity. She had noticed how Georgie stayed close to him, clinging to his sleeve like a comfort blanket, how the others deferred to him as the grown-up among them, though he had been little more than a teenager at the time.
‘Jesus, Rory! All that time and you never said anything.’
‘Doesn’t matter.’
‘Of course itmatters.’
‘I can’t help it,’ he said. ‘But don’t worry, I’m not going to jump you or anything.’ He sounded slightly annoyed. ‘Just forget it. It’s okay, I’m used to it. And we’ve been good mates, haven’t we?’
‘Yes, we’ve been good mates,’ Louise said. ‘But Rory, I never wanted to be “good mates” with you – not for one minute.’
Rory looked at her steadily, saying nothing.
‘Didn’t it ever occur to you that I might feel the same way?’
‘No,’ he said flatly. ‘And I wouldn’t expect you to,’ he added. ‘You deserve better.’
‘Rory, thereisn’tanyone better than you. Not for me.’
She took his hand, which felt strong and warm, his fingers hard and calloused from guitar strings. ‘I love you,’ she said. ‘I’ve loved you since that day too.’
With his free hand, he outlined the contours of her face, lightly, tracing her cheek, the corners of her eyes, the outline of her mouth.
‘Jesus!’ he murmured.
Then his eyes dropped to her lips, and there was that glorious moment of recognition when she knew he was going to kiss her.
* * *
Will found Phoenix sitting on the terrace, scribbling lyrics on an A4 pad. ‘Hi.’ He sat down in the chair beside him.
‘Hi.’ Phoenix’s eyes were cold.
‘Where’s everyone else? In the studio?’
‘Yeah.’ Phoenix bent his head to his notepad again. ‘But I’d stay out of their way, if I were you.’
‘Sorry?’What the hell was wrong with everyone today?
‘They’re not your biggest fans at the moment – neither am I, to be honest. We all really liked Kate.’
