Bastard! She longed to run out and confront him now. She had been too taken aback to react immediately, and now it was too late – he’d be plugged into the ‘incredible energy’ of his latest conquest. Twitchier than ever, she waited for morning.
13
At breakfast, Kate managed to identify the girl she had heard with Brian last night. She recognised her lilting Cork accent and noticed the significant eye-meet they exchanged when they thought no one was looking.Poor sap!she thought, noting the girl’s flushed, eager face as she chatted to him. Her name was Liz – a petite, bony wisp of a thing, with pale, freckled skin and masses of uncontrollable frizzy auburn hair. She was quite attractive in an offbeat way, Kate mused, dispassionately. Strangely, she felt no animosity towards her. If she felt anything, it was pity as another victim of Brian’s hollow charm.
Armed with the evidence of his infidelity, she tried to confront him after breakfast, but without success. He was bombarded by members of the group, vying for his attention, and fobbed her off again. ‘Kate, I know you want to talk, but I can’t give you my full attention right now.’
‘Well, you wouldn’t want anyone here to think you weren’tavailableto them,’ she said waspishly. But her sarcasm was lost on him.
‘Just wait until this weekend is over and I’ll be able to focuson what you have to say,’ he continued. ‘In the meantime, try to be in the now. If you engage in this process, you’ll get a lot out of it.’
‘Fine,’ she said, fuming at his unmitigated gall.
‘Don’t sulk.’ He smiled. Then, pulling her aside, he said in a low voice, ‘I’ve missed you so much this summer. Believe me, there’s nothing I’d like more than to make all these people disappear and be alone with you.’ Touching her cheek lightly with a finger, he shot her an intimate, seductive look.
Kate marvelled at what a good liar he was. He still looked at her as if he adored her. He had always made her feel special, but she knew now that it was nothing to do with her. It was just a trick, and the next moment he would be using it on someone else.
Left with no choice, she joined the rest of the group for the morning session. There was a hushed atmosphere as they removed their shoes outside the door, padded into the room barefoot and sat cross-legged in a circle on the carpet. Kate felt certain that her flash of insight yesterday had been right: somehow she knew that Brian had slept with practically every female in the room. And she didn’t care any more.
Brian kicked off by asking them how they had felt about last night, which prompted several of them to ‘share’ their sweat-lodge experience.
‘I felt like the veil was lifted and I suddenly saw everything as it really is,’ Suzanne gushed. ‘It was only for a moment – just a glimpse – but it was really special.’ She gave a smile of spiritual rapture.
‘Great.’ Brian nodded encouragingly at her. ‘How about you, Kate?’ he asked quietly. ‘How did you feel about last night?’
‘Yep, pretty much the same,’ she nodded at Suzanne. ‘Veil lifting,seeing things as they really are. Last night was a bit of a revelation for me.’
‘Really?’ Brian said, obviously surprised that she was opening up to all this.
‘Oh yes, it was very enlightening. I had a bit of an epiphany, actually,’ she said meaningfully, eyeballing him.
‘Good, good.’ He was clearly oblivious to her mood. ‘Thank you for sharing. How about you, Liz?’
Kate seethed as he turned to the frizzy-haired girl with the same caring, encouraging smile.
When the sharing circle was finished, Brian explained how they were going to spend the morning. ‘You’ve come here because you’re in relationships that you feel are destructive or unhealthy. Perhaps you have people in your lives who undermine your confidence, your self-esteem, your ability to fulfil your potential, people who block your energy and stop you becoming the person you could be. You’re here today because you’re ready to confront the reality about these toxic relationships. It may mean coming to a new understanding with that person. It may mean letting them go. Either way, it’s not easy. Even if a relationship is harmful to us, it can be difficult to let it go, and I know it’s taken a lot of courage for you all to take that first step.’
Several members of the group exchanged a smug smile.
‘Today we’re going to confront those people. We’re going to tell them how they make us feel, how their behaviour affects us, and they’re going to listen. Because that’s the one thing that never happens in a toxic relationship. We’re never listened to,’ he said.
You could almost hear the group sigh admiringly en masse, Kate thought, as they devoured Brian’s pearls of wisdom.
‘While you talk, the rest of us,’ Brian indicated the circle with a sweeping gesture, ‘will listen. We will represent the person you want to confront. We won’t respond or argue, just accept whatyou have to say. There’s no judgment. This is a safe space. So,’ he said, ‘who’d like to start?’
First up was a man called Terry, whose ‘toxic’ person was his wife. Everyone listened supportively as he launched into a tirade against her. ‘You don’t support me in the spiritual journey I’m on,’ he said querulously. ‘You don’t want to grow as a person, and you try to stop me growing too.’
‘Oh, growup!’ Kate snapped, unable to stop herself.
‘Is she allowed to say that?’ Terry appealed to Brian.
‘We’re just listening, Kate,’ Brian admonished her.
‘But he’s saying his wife doesn’t understand him!’ Kate protested, as if she was appealing to a referee. ‘Surely you can do better than that old chestnut,’ she said to Terry.
‘Please, Kate,’ Brian said, ‘we’re not here to judge, remember.’
‘Except Terry’s wife – we’re judging her! It’s not fair when she’s not here to defend herself.’
