‘This is fun, isn’t it?’ Freddie grinned, wrinkling his nose at Kate. He was evidently enjoying himself.
‘Brilliant!’ Kate said drily.
And so it had gone on, with Will outscoring Brian consistently. Ken and Freddie had become so engrossed in their little game that Kate wondered if they’d forgotten she was there.
‘I’ve got another! I’ve got another!’ Freddie shrieked, bouncing around in his seat like a schoolboy begging the teacher to let him answer a question.
‘For Brian or Will?’
‘Will. He’s got a cleft in his chin. A really deep one,’ he added, as this announcement was greeted with bemused silence from Ken. Then Ken remembered the cleft in his own chin and smilingly awarded Will five points.
‘I take it the boyfriend is bereft of cleft?’ he asked, describing another big fat zero on Brian’s side, as Freddie nodded happily. ‘Don’t worry, Kate,’ he said sympathetically. ‘It’s anyone’s game yet. Your chap can still catch up.’
Studying the sheet of paper, Kate doubted it. Brian had been awarded eight points for his good looks, but that was still less than Will’s ten. The only point on which he had outscored Will was his straight hair (ten points) versus Will’s curly (minus five). In an effort to bump up Brian’s score, Kate had made no defense of Will’s hair.
‘And Kate’s family all hate Brian, but they love Will,’ Freddie piped up again.
Ken considered. ‘That can go either way,’ he said. ‘Are you close to your family, Kate?’
‘Well, fairly…’ Kate saw an opening for Brian.
‘Are you kidding?’ Freddie looked at her scathingly. ‘They live up each other’s arses!’ he told Ken.
‘That’s a biggie, then,’ Ken decided, giving Will ten and Brian minus ten, cancelling out his straight hair at a stroke.
‘Isn’t thereanythingagainst Will?’ he asked, trying to be fair.
‘Well…’ Freddie hesitated, ‘there is one thing…’
‘Yes?’
Freddie was silent for a moment, seemingly reluctant to say whatever it was. ‘He’s an alcoholic,’ he said finally.
‘He isnot!’ Kate gasped.
‘Okay, retired,’ Freddie allowed.
‘Still,’ Ken sucked his breath through his teeth, ‘he’ll have to have minus twenty for that. What if he decides to come out of retirement? Most alcos make at least one big comeback before they retire for good.’
‘Twenty points is a bit harsh.’
‘Any kind of substance abuse, addiction or violence is minus twenty,’ Ken said firmly. ‘It’s not negotiable.’
Freddie was thrilled. ‘He’s very strict, isn’t he?’ he remarked to Kate.
‘But Willisn’tan alcoholic,’ Kate demurred, ‘and he never has been.’ She couldn’t let this go by, even in the interest of bumping up Brian’s score. ‘What on earth gave you the idea that he was?’
‘Well, he was out of his tree when he shagged you that time. And it was all fizzy water and coke at the wedding yesterday. Quite sweet, really.’ Freddie smiled fondly.
‘So?’
Freddie shrugged. ‘Doesn’t drink, used to be a pisshead – you do the math, as the Americans say.’
‘Freddie, your “math” is completely skewed. You’re adding two and two and making twenty-two.’
‘You mean he really isn’t an alco?’
‘No.’
