‘They obviously exhausted their creative talents thinking up the band’s name,’ Will remarked. ‘They were never seen again after that, were they?’
‘They had another single,’ Tessa said huffily.
‘I remember him now,’ Louise said. ‘He was kind of cool-looking – very flamboyant. He had gorgeous long black hair and wore loads of eyeliner.’
‘I think I met him in rehab,’ Phoenix chipped in. ‘He’s an interesting guy.’
‘No, not him,’ Tessa said crossly. ‘You’re thinking of the singer. James Lewis was the other one.’
‘Oh, I remember!’ Will exclaimed. ‘The one who stood at the back looking glum, fiddling with a synthesiser?’
‘Yes, him,’ Tessa said.
‘Okay, so far we’ve got a bus driver and the boring one from some eighties one-hit-wonder group,’ Fawn sneered.
‘Yeah, that’ll have everyone glued to their TV screens,’ Owen laughed.
‘Well, there’s also Vanessa King,’ Tessa announced, throwing discretion to the wind.
This name had the desired effect – she had everyone’s attention now. Vanessa King was a TV presenter who had had a notorious affair with a Conservative MP. Her kiss-and-tell revelations of kinky sex, misuse of party funds and abuse of political influence had resulted in him being forced to resign. She was currently flavour of the month on talk shows.
‘I’m hoping we’ll be cellmates,’ Tessa went on.
‘I was offered a reality show in the States,’ Fawn drawled, ‘but I turned it down. They’re so tacky and make you look so desperate.’
‘Well, I would have turned this one down, but it’s for charity,’ Tessa said sweetly.
‘Oh, the one I was offered was for charity, too, but my agent said reality TV would be a really bad move for me – I just don’t need that kind of exposure.’
Simon was gazing at Fawn’s breasts as if he knew exactly the kind of exposure she needed and he’d be happy to help her get it.
‘Well, I’m not doing it for the exposure,’ Tessa said sanctimoniously. ‘I’m doing it for my charity.’
‘What charity are you giving it to if you win?’ Fawn asked, ready to pounce on whatever it was and tear it to shreds.
‘It was hard to decide. There are just so many good causes out there. But I’ve decided to give it to this group that supports women whose plastic surgery has gone wrong.’
‘Oh!’ Fawn gasped. ‘That’s a really good cause,’ she breathed, impressed despite herself.
‘But is it really a charity?’ Summer challenged. ‘Will they let you do that with the money if you win?’
‘Of course! Why not?’
‘Well, any number of reasons – AIDS, famine relief, orphans, refugees, homeless people.’
‘Oh yeah, all the so-called “sexy” charities,’ Tessa scoffed. ‘They get more than their fair share of money and publicity.’
‘I agree.’ Fawn nodded wisely. ‘I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against starving children – obviously – but please. That’s all you ever hear about, when there are these other charities and most people don’t even know they exist.’
‘Plus you know where the money’s going and that it’s not being siphoned off by some corrupt government,’ Tessa chimed in.
‘Right,’ Fawn agreed. ‘The starving in Africa must get billions every year in charity money. I mean, how can theystillbe starving, right?’ she said.
This was greeted with stunned silence, which Fawn took as evidence of her brilliant incisiveness.
‘Well, I hope you win, babes,’ she told Tessa supportively. ‘You deserve it.’
‘Oh, thanks.’ Tessa attempted a smile that was both modest and saintly.
