I need to shut my mouth. Need to retreat and think.
But this hurts too much for me to be rational.
“Stop it.” She grinds a fist into her leg, and I wonder if she’s imagining ramming it into my gut.
I wish she would. Wish she would fight me instead of cowering.
Gods, what is wrong with me? Driving her to this?
Fear. Fear of losing her is so overwhelming that I’m a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“Juliet—”
“Get out!” she hisses, fierce gaze back on me. “This is my house! My home! Getout!”
With each of her words, a stab of pain shoots through my side, and I clench my fists to keep from rubbing the area where I got shot years ago. There aren’t even scars, but it feels like Juliet is digging her fingers into old wounds.
“Fine. I’m leaving.” And I do, holding up my hands in surrender as I walk out the front door, in direct opposition to my wild wolf growling at me to go back.
The night outside is frigid in a way I wish my heart could be. When I mount my bike, I tell myself not to look back. But my wolf forces my head around, seeking out the woman we love.
She’s not there. No one stands in the doorway or the window, watching me leave.
I’m alone. Thrown away.
The roar of my bike coming to life can’t drown out the howl in my head.
47
JULIET
My house isquiet without Roderick in it. Not that he’s a loud man. But his presence fills the space, negating this echoing emptiness.
The first noise is my own sob wrenching from my chest.
I hurt him. Damn it to the gods, I know I did.
But mating?
Even the thought makes me want to retch.
I can still remember the first time I heard the word in the context that Roderick meant it.
I was lying in bed with Cory in our new house, thinking how excited I was to make the space into a home. It had been so long since I’d felt like I had a home.
“Next month will be a good time to get mated. The weather will be warmer, so I don’t have to freeze my balls off during the ceremony.”
“Mated? What do you mean?”
Then Cory proceeded to explain how mating was like a werewolf marriage, but more permanent. At first, I felt a warmflutter in my chest, flattered that this handsome man wanted to mate me.
But the idea of forever sparked discomfort. I loved Cory, but I was only just settling in, working an entry-level job at the Bear Valley library. Committing to moving in together had been stressful enough, and a house I could always leave. But mystical werewolf marriage?
“That sounds amazing, but can we hold off a little while longer? I feel like so much is happening so fast. I just want to take the time to enjoy the moment.”
Cory didn’t like my answer.
He shoved out of the bed, muttering curses and claiming I was leading him on. Using him. Then he left the house, and I curled up under the sheets, feeling raw and broken.
