I silently contemplate all that pain Roderick had to deal with when he was still basically a kid. My heart breaks for him, and I wish he were here so I could kiss him and tell him how strong and amazing I think he was.
But I wonder if I’m the one he really wants to hear those sentiments from.
“So, I guess Monica meant a lot to him. Must have hurt to see her at Thanksgiving.”
Tanya gives me a brow raise. “Hurt? More like annoyed the hell out of him that she tried to get him back.”
“What?” My voice is surprisingly low, and I didn’t know I could sound so menacing.
That woman was trying to steal my man?
“Sometimes, I forget your tiny human ears don’t hear too well.”
I reach up to the side of my head self-consciously. “My ears are the same size as yours.”
She waves the comment away and relates the conversation she overheard between Roderick and Monica. Maybe I should be more concerned with maintaining their privacy, but Roderick had to know other wolves would hear them. Plus, the scene she replays for me has my heart thundering.
“He turned her down?” I ask, just to be sure.
“Flat. He has it bad for you.” Tanya’s body takes on a sudden tension, and her voice loses its lighthearted flare. “I like you a lot. But I love my brother. So, you need to be serious about him, or you need to end things. He doesn’t deserve another heartbreak. He’s been through enough.”
My fists clench in sudden anger. But not at Tanya.
I’m pissed at myself.
Everything she just revealed gives me a clearer understanding to Roderick’s actions and insecurities. But even without this knowledge, I already knew he was a good man.
It’s me that’s full of doubt. Doubt about my instincts and my feelings. I’m terrified that I’ll fall into the same trap that I did with Cory.
Wanting to belong somewhere so badly that I ignore warning signs.
But Pine Falls doesn’t have warning signs. None other than the phantom ones I created based off my past experiences.
“You’re right.” I make sure to meet her eyes. “I’ll be honest and up front with him.” The sudden urge to cry makes the words thick in my throat.
“Good.” Tanya’s smile is soft this time. “I like having you around.”
And this is exactly where I want to be.
Tomorrow morning, I’ll call and make an appointment with Dr. Amy. Then Roderick will come to my house in the evening when he gets back from his trip. I don’t have the words yet. Haven’t figured out what exactly I want or need to say.
Hopefully, I can bring some sense to my raging emotions in the next twenty-four hours.
51
RODERICK
“Hey,Roderick! Can I talk to you?” I turn away from my bike, searching for the person trying to flag me down.
The wolf from Bear Valley, Cory, strolls toward me.
His expression looks hopeful.
I nod in greeting, waiting to hear why he stopped me. After another day of meetings and negotiations, I’m ready to go home. Tonight, I can see Juliet. After the way we kissed in my office, I’m hoping we can move past the shitstorm we found ourselves in.
No part of me wants to hang around longer to chat, but this guy is a friend of my pack mate’s, so I can bite down on my dismissal and listen to him.
“I’m glad I caught you. I have a favor to ask.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, giving me a rueful grin. “I totally trust you when you say Thad’s doing better, but honestly? I miss the guy. I’ve been wanting to visit, but I’ve never crossed into another pack’s territory before, and I didn’t know the best way to approach it.”
